Found a journal today I was trying to keep last year to keep my thoughts organized. It kinda went away after I realized I could, if I wanted to, write here in this site. I just never found any reason to, really, until I met the kind folks of SGLA who encourage me to keep up this kinda thing.
Anyway, the first writings were combined entries detailing the day of and the morning after a really nice date I had w/ a girl named Brianne. Totally cool. Went to a brewpub called My Father's Office in Santa Monica and talked for, like, 3 hours. I remember how jazzed I was afterwards...so jazzed that this new, incredibly cute girl didn't seem to let up in terms of energy even after three hours. We hugged goodnight (was hoping for a kiss, though) and got in our separate cars and drove away...
Now, here's where I felt I might have gone wrong...but I couldn't help it. There's my heart, right there, see? Look, on my sleeve... ::thumpthump...thumpthump::
When I like someone, I totally dig them...aaaaaaaaaaaand I called her 5 minutes into the drive home. Couldn't help it, sorry...Dating faux pas, fuck it, I dug her. I hadn't even gotten HOME yet, and I called her to tell her what a nice time I had. And you know what? She sounded totally happy too. "Heyyyy, you....call me early next week," she says.
Ok, fine. Three days wait...Called her on Tues. No answer. Called her on Thursday again, no answer....waited a week after THAT call, left a message that implied "Ok, ball's in your court, girl..." and THAT EVENING she calls me back, leaves me a message, like "Oh, sorry I didn't get back to you those times..." Did I do something wrong?
Anyway, we never did hook up again...I called back, spoke with her and on MY end, heard a kind of...longing...from her like she DID wanna hook up, but by that time I'd invested too much time, I felt, into chasing after a possible second date and was met with too much silence, silence that became a biiiig UNWELCOME sign.... ::sigh::
Courting someone is something I can do okay...although I am a little worried about the creepoid factor. After the Brianne Incident, I arrived at that conclusion. The pursuit, the chase, what the fuck...I give up. What do they want?
That secondguessing shit continues to get me in a holding pattern... and guess what happens? I get cockblocked, ignored, brushed off. I've now written that shit off as bullshit singles stuff.
My close friends and I have such a low threshold now for the bullshit factor that people are playing today. Fuckin' games.
HOWEVER, I can't help but feel stuck, though...like I'm missing some great big "guy secret" that EVERY OTHER single guy that's successfully getting laid seems to know and me?... I haven't a clue. My friend Rob (a recent divorcee and back in the dating thing) is just hitting it on the regular...he said something that makes some sense..."When you approach a girl w/ sex already on the mind, you get self concious and begin to think 'Well, I'm already "made" that I wanna fuck her...and girls pick up on that. Theeeeen, you get freaked out enough about being rejected and don't even try."
That's the thing...I'm a lustful guy. And you girls can tell. It must come offa me like fuckin' Old Spice. Shit, lookit my interests and things I'm into... Hey, shoot me. I like girls. Can't for the lifea me understand yall, but I like ya.
So now, because I've had some pretty intense relationships with ladies as a GENTLEMAN, I'm still trying to figure the single thing out. The idea's been established in me that girls must be PURSUED and the prize after chasing them is holding hands, a peck, and a second date which leads to a third, voila... Antiquated? Definitely. Pussyish? I'm honestly beginning to think so. I just can't forget what I've grown up with as gentlemanly behavior. What qualifies a gentleman these days and is the term getting dated?
Anyway, the first writings were combined entries detailing the day of and the morning after a really nice date I had w/ a girl named Brianne. Totally cool. Went to a brewpub called My Father's Office in Santa Monica and talked for, like, 3 hours. I remember how jazzed I was afterwards...so jazzed that this new, incredibly cute girl didn't seem to let up in terms of energy even after three hours. We hugged goodnight (was hoping for a kiss, though) and got in our separate cars and drove away...
Now, here's where I felt I might have gone wrong...but I couldn't help it. There's my heart, right there, see? Look, on my sleeve... ::thumpthump...thumpthump::
When I like someone, I totally dig them...aaaaaaaaaaaand I called her 5 minutes into the drive home. Couldn't help it, sorry...Dating faux pas, fuck it, I dug her. I hadn't even gotten HOME yet, and I called her to tell her what a nice time I had. And you know what? She sounded totally happy too. "Heyyyy, you....call me early next week," she says.
Ok, fine. Three days wait...Called her on Tues. No answer. Called her on Thursday again, no answer....waited a week after THAT call, left a message that implied "Ok, ball's in your court, girl..." and THAT EVENING she calls me back, leaves me a message, like "Oh, sorry I didn't get back to you those times..." Did I do something wrong?
Anyway, we never did hook up again...I called back, spoke with her and on MY end, heard a kind of...longing...from her like she DID wanna hook up, but by that time I'd invested too much time, I felt, into chasing after a possible second date and was met with too much silence, silence that became a biiiig UNWELCOME sign.... ::sigh::
Courting someone is something I can do okay...although I am a little worried about the creepoid factor. After the Brianne Incident, I arrived at that conclusion. The pursuit, the chase, what the fuck...I give up. What do they want?
That secondguessing shit continues to get me in a holding pattern... and guess what happens? I get cockblocked, ignored, brushed off. I've now written that shit off as bullshit singles stuff.
My close friends and I have such a low threshold now for the bullshit factor that people are playing today. Fuckin' games.
HOWEVER, I can't help but feel stuck, though...like I'm missing some great big "guy secret" that EVERY OTHER single guy that's successfully getting laid seems to know and me?... I haven't a clue. My friend Rob (a recent divorcee and back in the dating thing) is just hitting it on the regular...he said something that makes some sense..."When you approach a girl w/ sex already on the mind, you get self concious and begin to think 'Well, I'm already "made" that I wanna fuck her...and girls pick up on that. Theeeeen, you get freaked out enough about being rejected and don't even try."
That's the thing...I'm a lustful guy. And you girls can tell. It must come offa me like fuckin' Old Spice. Shit, lookit my interests and things I'm into... Hey, shoot me. I like girls. Can't for the lifea me understand yall, but I like ya.
So now, because I've had some pretty intense relationships with ladies as a GENTLEMAN, I'm still trying to figure the single thing out. The idea's been established in me that girls must be PURSUED and the prize after chasing them is holding hands, a peck, and a second date which leads to a third, voila... Antiquated? Definitely. Pussyish? I'm honestly beginning to think so. I just can't forget what I've grown up with as gentlemanly behavior. What qualifies a gentleman these days and is the term getting dated?
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
1. Nice guys finish last - sad but true
2. There are woman out there that want that nice guy - I found myself one and picked him up on the spot.
3. Stop looking for a girl - than you'll find one
4. Have fun in the mean time - meaning - don't look for a serious relationship - just have fun - I don't know how much you're into safe casual sex but that might do you some good. SGLA might be the perfect spot to find that too.
5. As far as I can tell - you ROCK! So don't waste your time on these women that don't seem to be giving you the time of day - they clearly don't deserve someone as kick ass as you.