transgress

last few days have been rough. Meredith and I split again. But this time it's hit me like a ton of bricks. Kind of odd. Although, I don't believe it was all her doing that has made the last few nights hard. But the demons in my head are coming out again. So I stay up until I literally fall over asleep. I got fired from my job. I'm reading a bit, but having problems focusing. If I lay still too long, my mind starts to wonder to places it shouldn't be. To things I fear. I wish someone were here to play with my hair and tell me I'll be okay, but each night I'm alone. So each night I face it alone. And each day I get up ready to do it again. I've been here before. I can leave here again. I combed my waxy dreads out of my head. I think I will let them come back when my hair gets to about my chin. On the upside of things, I've been able to talk, in person, to someone who shares my political beliefs, and it his company has given me someone to connect to on a intellectual level. Something I have lacked for most of my life. So with the bad comes something very good. And I wouldn't have life any other way.

P.S. Lil' Bit and Sam (kitty and doggy) were quite upset at the statement of me dealing with things alone, and felt I should let everyone know they are here comforting me each night. And that without them I'd probably be insane already. That is all.