trahern

My mother died nine years ago last October. Though she was far from faultless, she was the only member of my family I could trust in the slightest. I'd already been through hell the first time she was supposed to die; maybe that was so I wouldn't end up there when she actually died.

By our actions, other people place us at a point on the scale between good and evil. In my head, I run the entire spectrum. After my mother died, I lost most of that spectrum and became a creature of extremes. This contributed to losing the one girl that actually gave a damn about me. My social activity went downhill from there.

Lately, I've been feeling like I've been coming out the other side of something, gotten most of the spectrum back. It's taken a lot of time and more self-analysis than I'm used to, but I'm getting to that point where I'm willing to start reaching out again. That's why I may actually start doing friend requests. That's why I signed up to more groups than the rejected sets one.

The WoW group is a shared interest kind of thing, all good there. The oldtimer one, however, seems to consist mostly of complaining about other members. I applied to the SGUK one, but that needs people to vouch for me, which I suppose they can't do until they meet me.

I may go to the thing tomorrow night and see what happens. Perhaps I will bring the panda.

Edited to add: Nope, not going. Too cold, too wet, not the kind of night I want to spend in London, thank you.