I have had lunch with people I've known for years. They fed me some very good beef etc. and let me drink most of the red wine. They sent me home with a chocolate bunny. Most would start with his ears, but I just had to eat his face first.

Now here I sit, fresh from commenting on Manko's latest hotness. I am pleasantly drunk while having been awake for at least 18 hours. NIN's Dead Souls is playing too loudly from the Crow soundtrack. I'm actually sweating, which makes a nice chance from the usual winter body behaviour.

...I have no point. I'm blabbering before I go log into WoW, I suspect. Better say something profound.

My first decision as a barely-thinking child was to make my mother happy. No matter what happened in between, the fact remains that now she's been dead for nine years and I'm only living for me. Except, I haven't been living. There have been sparse moments of feeling alive - like this one - but for the most part, I've been surviving. When this moment ends, chances are I'll go back to that.

I'm hardly pro-active.

Perhaps I'll learn to actually play something new on a keyboard. Maybe I'll finally pick up a fucking camara again. Could even start looking for a girl I'd actually like to spend time with. Right now, I'd be happy if I could just start writing again.

Something less blabbery, more KotOR fanfictiony. Or vampy. Vampy might be better, given the music. Yes. Vale was leaving for Lisbon, and a bunch of Black Hand higher-ups were jabbering about how to fuck with him, I think...