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trahern

United Kingdom

Member Since 2003

Followers 16 Following 118

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Monday Mar 27, 2006

Mar 27, 2006
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In an attempt to become more social, I have finally caved in and bought a mobile telephone. I'm still not sure it's a good idea, and I hate how the text thing keeps choosing (the wrong) words for me. But this might be good for me.

I broke my pocketwatch yesterday, so it's good to have something that tells the time on my person, I suppose.

I have never been a big fan of the telephone. All it ever seems to do is interrupt, and half the time it's noone I care to talk to. "No I don't care about the cable company's latest offer," and "I don't care if you want to upgrade my account, just hold my bloody money for me," and "I plan to stick to one gas supplier for at least six months, thank you... I said no... don't you get it? I don't care... you're gonna make me hang up on you, aren't you."

My dislike of phones wasn't helped by the abusive call I got from the guy who won the fight in the cul-de-sac. I knew the "I know where you live" threat was empty because, if he'd known, he'd have dropped by to spend that minute swearing at me to my face. Nevertheless, I don't recall ever being so scared of a single person, and it had been a good long while since I had felt any fear of my own.

Maybe I was just lucky that he was put away when he was. Shame they let him back out. There was a guy who was attacked in that same village, died later in hospital... wouldn't be surprised if Darren was to blame.

I've been through hell, and I crawled out angry. It nearly destroyed me. I would have died before my mother. But I found a way to let it go, and while I've had to learn how to feel all over again - probably still need to work on that, actually - I have survived. Surviving is what I do.

I think Darren went through hell too. He also crawled out angry, but he didn't let it go. So now... best case scenario, he's a violent ex-con. Worst case, he's a murderer without remorse. I pity the bastard, but if I ran into him and he's still violent, I'd be tempted to do something permanent to him so he can never hurt anyone again.

And what we'd been fighting about? Well, there was a girl, who had also been through hell. She crawled out afraid, and has been ever since. But. I've been in love three times. She was the first who loved me back. She found me too soon after my mother's death, I think. My greatest regret is screwing things up with her.

Oh well. Time goes on.

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