trahern

So, it's now been five years since I had any sex.

During my hormonally-imbalanced teens, I had worse things to worry about than losing my virginity. The shit hit the fan in my early teens, grew increasingly diorhetic until it turned to pure napalm in my late teens, and the cherry on top was added at 21 when my mother finally, actually died.

A year later, I figured it was about bloody time I started dating, and I did. Then one night, an absolutely wonderful girl found me, and I managed to screw it up royally. Every girl after that was increasingly worse. The last turned out to be a lying 13yo slut-whore... I couldn't tell, dammit, she was a C-cup. The sad thing is, she was the best fuck I'd ever had.

That's when I decided it was time for a bloody break. I've surprised myself once or twice by turning away women that landed in my lap. When it comes down to it, masturbation has way less chance of disease, no chance of pregnancy, and I get to avoid the emotional rollercoaster that comes with any kind of sexual relationship.

The upside? I've finally done enough of the introspection thing to figure myself out. That leaves the rest of life, the universe and everything.

I'm inclined to forget all about it and go get laid.