For those of you who follow me, you are well aware that I have Bipolar Disorder. I have a psychiatrist and a therapist who help me with that.
A lot of my life, before and even after I was diagnosed, I was a heavy drinker. Recently my therapist gave me a homework assignment: to write about my relationship with alcohol.
I'm not much of a journalist, so I wrote it in poem form, because, well, I write poetry. Here's what I came up with. Hope you enjoy and/or can relate:
BITTER TEMPTRESS
How you have consumed me
in my darker days
wrapped me in your cocoon
numb to the world outside
an escape from the rage
from the pain and frustration
How I loved you then
sweet solace free from memory
happiness and joy drifting in a haze
How I hated you the next morning
eyes on fire and head
pounding like a drum
brain beating its way through my skull
every limb weary with the weight of the world
until you caressed me again
so tenderly at first
then deeper and faster
until the maelstrom began anew
How I loathe you still
so much less of a friend these days
though I still dare to kiss your lips
tenderly but never as
passionately, timidly
I hold you at arms distance
wary of your grip
your cheating lies
your too easy temptations
that distort reality
and leave me confounded
in moments I fail to recall.
~SJS 9/3/23
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dariseyes:
hello! I want to support you in this and tell you that you are not alone! 🫂I have borderline personality disorder and it looks like bipolar. Three years of therapy, every week, and this summer I was diagnosed.I've been drinking alcohol, drugs, and weed for a long time. I was destroying myself and I didn 't feel like I was living . People didn't understand me and as it turned out, I couldn't understand myself either. But with an understanding of the action of my psyche, I was able to get rid of all destructive patterns. I've been smoking only weed for the last couple of years, every day, if was easier for me to live with. And now it is no longer necessary, but it was sooo hard to stop smoking. You have a strong personality and it's great that you're working on yourself. I am sure that by continuing in the same spirit, you will reach remission! After all , understanding about yourself gives you the opportunity to change everything . And especially creativity, in which you can express your pain! You are unique and everything that has happened in your life has made you stronger and brought you to the point where you are!Keep going with poetry ,you do it great ♥️hugs
lanaisonfire:
sending lots of love to you ❤️