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toxickiss

Point Pleasant Beach, NJ

Member Since 2003

Followers 15 Following 13

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Saturday Jan 17, 2004

Jan 16, 2004
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This...sucks.

I was "browsing" on myspace.com and hes on there...

why the hell is it that when I see his picture I get this yucky feeling inside?

I miss him...and I dont want to.

I cant even talk to him because he hates me.

I dont understand why he couldnt just fucking get a damn job and shit could have been ok.

I just want to go to his house...and hug him so tight..and not say a word. Get in my car...and leave. Sometimes he would watch me pull away when I left...and over time I started to watch him walk away in the rear view mirror.

Its gotten to the point where he makes guest appearances in my dreams. He wont go away.

I know I shouldnt care, I dont even want to. But you spend so much time with someone and then theyre not even there...what do you do?

Im not happy with where I am right now, and I have to get the hell out of here. I know that now, but how the hell do I do it?

This feeling in my stomach is the most incredibly shit feeling ever. I hate missing people. I hate losing people I care about. Yea he's an asshole, but there were good times. I always find some way to find the best in people and I hate it. Everyone tells me I could do so much better...and sometimes I think I might agree...so why the hell do I want him?

I gotta get this kid out of my head.

This is going to ruin my whole fucking day at work. puke
cobalt:
Here's a sonnet I wrote some time back that seems to fit your mood!! I hope things kick off on the upswing for ya!!!

kiss

You cite the stars. I trip over my feet.
The phone crackles in my question mark ear.

Out my window, I can barely see streets,
lawns, and bi-levels beyond. I cant hear
the breeze rattle your window, far
hotter than the thickness of humidity.

All night sky reflects in rippling water.
Bending, you finger the floating crescent.

Houses clutch me. Im mired to striped tar.
Beacons of my soul are auto headlights,
and the swift doppler rush of passing cars.

I stay fixed beneath flickering streetlights.

DAMMIT!!
Dont skip the stairs!
Dont brush the moon,
while I languish in my air conditioned room.
Jan 17, 2004
memmnochthedevil:
You should feel special! ha ha.

Yeah I know what your talking about. But at least for me it was better to let go then to try make something happen that was never meant to be.

As your attorny I advice you to watch Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and i don't know what else!!!!

ARRR!!!
Jan 17, 2004

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