If you live in a city you know that riding in a car is often the least efficient way to get around. Me, I don't even have a driver's liscense. In Philadelphia specifically, the public transit system sucks most of the time, and cabs are way too expensive. Riding a bike is a good, Earth-friendly way to get around, but sometimes you just don't feel like getting all sweaty and gross, or your destination is way far away, or you're just being lazy. Sometimes I wish there were alternate ways to get around. So, I present to you, the top 5 ways I wish were a real way to get around:
5. Springy Shoes.
With these wonderful things, you're not quite walking, you're not quite jumping, but you are quite awesome. I think with all the advances in technology we've had over the centuries, it is absurd that these marvelous things are not in every major retail store. Why should hopping great distances only be available to cartoon cyotes and astronauts? Fuck Doc Martens, these things really do have bouncing souls!
4. Dog Sled
Why is it that these are only available in snowy climates? Just because I've got four seasons and live in a city, I can't have a bunch of my furry friends pull me around town?
3. Jet Pack
I refuse to believe that you have to be some sort of super hero, or government spy to fly around in one of these. With everyone complaining about gas prices, why haven't they introduced these to the public yet? It probably would take about as much fuel as a vespa, and you'd feel a lot better about yourself after cruising around in one of these.
2. Just have a big-ass dude carry me around
See, this one would be great for a few reasons: We could hire these "people couriers" and create jobs to stimulate the economy, and they could double as body guards, or seeing eye people, for the blind. Also, unlike most of the previous modes of transportation, you'd have someone to talk to own a lengthy trip. <span style="text-decoration: line-through;">The people that would get these jobs would most likely be lower and middle class dudes, and the people hiring them would be rich upper class, so as an added bonus, when the revolution comes, it would make the rebels strong and the bourgeois weak and feeble, thus ensuring our victory! </span>I mean, um... go capitalism.
1. Bears with saddles
I don't even think I need to explain this. Nothing is cooler than bears with saddles.
5. Springy Shoes.
With these wonderful things, you're not quite walking, you're not quite jumping, but you are quite awesome. I think with all the advances in technology we've had over the centuries, it is absurd that these marvelous things are not in every major retail store. Why should hopping great distances only be available to cartoon cyotes and astronauts? Fuck Doc Martens, these things really do have bouncing souls!
4. Dog Sled
Why is it that these are only available in snowy climates? Just because I've got four seasons and live in a city, I can't have a bunch of my furry friends pull me around town?
3. Jet Pack
I refuse to believe that you have to be some sort of super hero, or government spy to fly around in one of these. With everyone complaining about gas prices, why haven't they introduced these to the public yet? It probably would take about as much fuel as a vespa, and you'd feel a lot better about yourself after cruising around in one of these.
2. Just have a big-ass dude carry me around
See, this one would be great for a few reasons: We could hire these "people couriers" and create jobs to stimulate the economy, and they could double as body guards, or seeing eye people, for the blind. Also, unlike most of the previous modes of transportation, you'd have someone to talk to own a lengthy trip. <span style="text-decoration: line-through;">The people that would get these jobs would most likely be lower and middle class dudes, and the people hiring them would be rich upper class, so as an added bonus, when the revolution comes, it would make the rebels strong and the bourgeois weak and feeble, thus ensuring our victory! </span>I mean, um... go capitalism.
1. Bears with saddles
I don't even think I need to explain this. Nothing is cooler than bears with saddles.
I'm pretty sure I'd go with the Bear in a saddle...best idea ever!