totallysomeone

So, I got attacked by zombies today. True story. I was just relaxing in my apartment, watching the peoples court when like five or six zombies just came busting in through the door. Let me tell you, I was more than a little surprised by this. I mean, what would you do in that situation?... I mean I'm sure everyone has their little, "well you know what I would've done" scenarios, but it's totally different when there are ACTUAL zombies busting in through your front door (and only exit, I might add). So, anyway, I threw my bag of chips on the ground and ran into my bedroom, scared shit-less. I contemplated jumping out the window, but I live on the third story of this building and my legs and arm still hurt already from getting hit by that car last week. So I just kind of cowered in the corner, and pretty much waited to die. I peeked out into the kitchen and watched these zombies ravage through all the groceries I just bought, then they caught sight of me and started slowly lumbering towards me. Shit. I'll admit, there was a tear or two, I mean if you can't cry when zombies are in your house when CAN you cry, ya know? Also, I was pretty much sure I was gonna be dead in a few minutes. I always made jokes about how I should've bought a shotgun in case zombies attacked, but I mean, come on, zombies! I was pretty sure they weren't real.

So anyway, there I was, sitting on my bed, crying like a baby, when my cell phone rings. Jesus, I thought, what the fuck does this person want? It was my friend Jedidiah calling, "Hey, man what are you up to?"
"Oh, not much dude, except that fucking zombies are attacking me right now,"
"Dude, shut up... zombies? Come on, wanna go get some coffee or something?"
"Dude, I'm not kidding, there are totally zombies in my house."
"Are you serious? Why didn't you call me?"
Oh shit! That's right, I totally forgot that Jedidiah is a Cleric or a Paladin or something, and he's like 600 years old and he totally has a werewolf's head in his basement. What the fuck, how do you even forget something like that?

Long story short, he mumbles something in Latin or something over the phone and this weird blue shield-thing forms around my bedroom door, he shows up like 35 minutes later with some holy mace and. like, this really nerdy looking chain mail outfit on, and banishes these things back to hell. It was kinda cool. So, we actually did end up going out for coffee, and he gave me some rune that's supposed to keep the undead out of my place, and blessed this silver dagger for me, in case they ever do come back. All in all it was a pretty crazy day. I gotta hang out with him more often.

And here I thought today was going to be a boring day where I just sat inside and watched tv all day.