Things just continued to go downhill this week, therefore, if I verbally assault anyone in this entry, I'm terribly sorry.
Dyed my hair last night. It's been this trailer-trashy sorta blonde with serious rootage due to lack of funds (I have to get it professionally dyed if I want blonde because my hair is so naturally dark) and I finally got fed up and Jonboy and I went out, picked out a color, brought it home, and voila! Brown. Boring, mundane, blah brown. Just like me.
I also had a serious talk last night with Jonathan about how I see myself, which is undeserving of all things good. I said that I'm tired of everyone stepping all over me and being my friend only when it's convenient for them. He said that I should just go along my merry way and not worry about anyone else anymore. Fuck 'em ya know? He said that I shouldn't let how other people treat me affect the way I see myself. He said that I'm just a naturally nice and giving person, and people will take advantage of that to no end. And the worse someone is treated, the harder they'll try to change it by being even nicer to the assholes who are doing the mistreating (yes, I'm so unbelievably guilty of this that it's pathetic). And people know that about me and they use it to their advantage. So that's a big fat fuck them, cuz this little doormat ain't doing it no more. Not that I think highly of myself all of a sudden, because I don't, but I just refuse to be everyone's little piece of shit sidekick until the day that I die.
Depending on what time AJ goes to bed, I may be going to get my tragus pierced tonight. But that's a big maybe. One, there's no telling what time AJ will fall asleep, he's so unpredictable. And two, Jonathan and I had a big major blowout today so I dunno if he's really gonna wanna be in a car with me for the 30 minutes it takes to get to Ink Link to watch me get metal forced through my head. Then again, he might enjoy seeing me in pain after the way I treated him today, so perhaps my piercing dream isn't that far-fetched after all.
Ya know what's funny? The whole reason I joined this site was for someone else because she said it would be another way for us to "keep in touch". I haven't heard from her in days. Communication has essentially ceased. Guess that was money well spent, huh? Oh well, I've met some other cool people on here, Thriftx2Horatio in particular.
So it evens out.
Wow, this was a lot tamer than I thought. It's amazing how a lovely cocktail of 3 Percocet and a Seagram's Smooth Island Bliss can mellow a person out.
Well, I did it. After AJ went to sleep, Jonathan and I got in the car, drove out to Ink Link and I got pierced. Eric, the piercer, while he was cleaning all his tools was like "Just so you know, this shit hurts!" I was fine until he said that. After that nice little warning I was about ready to pee my pants! But anyways, he got me all nice and positioned, I felt the tip of the needle touching me when he was like "deep breath in....." so I knew it was coming, and I waited for what Eric said would be the most intense pain I'd ever felt.......and it never came. I felt the needle go through, but it never really hurt. Maybe I was too emotionally drained from fighting with Jonathan to really feel any pain. Is that possible? Well, I did it, it's done. Mom says it's creepy. Whatever, I like it.
Dyed my hair last night. It's been this trailer-trashy sorta blonde with serious rootage due to lack of funds (I have to get it professionally dyed if I want blonde because my hair is so naturally dark) and I finally got fed up and Jonboy and I went out, picked out a color, brought it home, and voila! Brown. Boring, mundane, blah brown. Just like me.
I also had a serious talk last night with Jonathan about how I see myself, which is undeserving of all things good. I said that I'm tired of everyone stepping all over me and being my friend only when it's convenient for them. He said that I should just go along my merry way and not worry about anyone else anymore. Fuck 'em ya know? He said that I shouldn't let how other people treat me affect the way I see myself. He said that I'm just a naturally nice and giving person, and people will take advantage of that to no end. And the worse someone is treated, the harder they'll try to change it by being even nicer to the assholes who are doing the mistreating (yes, I'm so unbelievably guilty of this that it's pathetic). And people know that about me and they use it to their advantage. So that's a big fat fuck them, cuz this little doormat ain't doing it no more. Not that I think highly of myself all of a sudden, because I don't, but I just refuse to be everyone's little piece of shit sidekick until the day that I die.
Depending on what time AJ goes to bed, I may be going to get my tragus pierced tonight. But that's a big maybe. One, there's no telling what time AJ will fall asleep, he's so unpredictable. And two, Jonathan and I had a big major blowout today so I dunno if he's really gonna wanna be in a car with me for the 30 minutes it takes to get to Ink Link to watch me get metal forced through my head. Then again, he might enjoy seeing me in pain after the way I treated him today, so perhaps my piercing dream isn't that far-fetched after all.
Ya know what's funny? The whole reason I joined this site was for someone else because she said it would be another way for us to "keep in touch". I haven't heard from her in days. Communication has essentially ceased. Guess that was money well spent, huh? Oh well, I've met some other cool people on here, Thriftx2Horatio in particular.
So it evens out.
Wow, this was a lot tamer than I thought. It's amazing how a lovely cocktail of 3 Percocet and a Seagram's Smooth Island Bliss can mellow a person out.
Well, I did it. After AJ went to sleep, Jonathan and I got in the car, drove out to Ink Link and I got pierced. Eric, the piercer, while he was cleaning all his tools was like "Just so you know, this shit hurts!" I was fine until he said that. After that nice little warning I was about ready to pee my pants! But anyways, he got me all nice and positioned, I felt the tip of the needle touching me when he was like "deep breath in....." so I knew it was coming, and I waited for what Eric said would be the most intense pain I'd ever felt.......and it never came. I felt the needle go through, but it never really hurt. Maybe I was too emotionally drained from fighting with Jonathan to really feel any pain. Is that possible? Well, I did it, it's done. Mom says it's creepy. Whatever, I like it.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
you haven't heard from me becaue i can't get on the internet at work anymore (unless it's lunch time like now) and i sort of just wanna shove food in my face. I still love ya and I AM sorry, but geez, way to make me feel like crap....
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