It's decided. I'm going to S.F., as planned before the great boyfriend makeover, and it's feeling like the right decision. I'm living in ambivalence right now, and I'd like to stay connected to myself as much as possible. It's amazing how much I go between two very solid decisions within a day. Half the time I know exactly what I want. The other half I know exactly how much I want the exact opposite thing. My therapist keeps telling me that life isn't Black and White. But it'd be so much easier if it were ... sigh ... except for how lame it would be ... I'm grateful for dilemmas such as these, though.
Love to all of you, and a happy new year.
(And by the way, my philosophy on new year's resolutions (not that anyone asked): they're lame. we have the chance to change our lives every single day, and should take that chance as often as we can. choosing an arbitrary day to make life changes just sets us up for failure and guilt. if you want to start exercising, just do it. if you're not ready yet, accept that. if you want to quit smoking, you'll do it whether it's new year's or not. just my three and a half cents. And for the record, I'm not ready to quit smoking yet. So there.)
Love to all of you, and a happy new year.
(And by the way, my philosophy on new year's resolutions (not that anyone asked): they're lame. we have the chance to change our lives every single day, and should take that chance as often as we can. choosing an arbitrary day to make life changes just sets us up for failure and guilt. if you want to start exercising, just do it. if you're not ready yet, accept that. if you want to quit smoking, you'll do it whether it's new year's or not. just my three and a half cents. And for the record, I'm not ready to quit smoking yet. So there.)
As for the Black and White life, I do that myself. I would say infamously so. My old friends have know totally different people as me over the years because I tend to do that. It keeps things dramatic. I say I dont want that but I seem to move toward it. Mine have gone pretty well though only because I make my life alteration and live it out for years at a time. The shortest being one year. I hope your therapist can help better then I. If it was up to me I would probably recommend theraputic S&M or getting a piercing as they seem to work for me.
As for changing life beyond this day, I agree any day is made for changes but today may just be a good day to start thinking about it. Change is hard because we fear possiblity but when your already changing the calander why not something else. The real mistake is making this the only time for change rather then just one more day off work.