torihoney

I hate that I haven't updated in a while... i have been really busy, and super sapped when i get home, so this all equates to zero computer time that isn't work related.

so i got the promotion. they offered me the job (the permanent one) two weeks ago. i am now commuting about 3 hours round trip a day (what with the horrid traffic and all..) so i haven't had much in the way of time that pertains to the things that make me happy. this means some of my relationships are suffering, rather badly.


i know it's a matter of better time management and prioritizing what is truly important, but i am so afraid to make a mistake right now that i am focused on all of the wrong things...and the wrong people. a lot has happened in the past month.

i was recognized at work, i recieved an award in front of 120 peers of mine that i never thought would happen.

i saw my first female crush get married, and was sincerely happy for her.

i saw my first car accident up close, a man got cut in half under a semi truck about 20 seconds before i drove by it.

i met my first real forensics major, and she hasn't seen a single episode of csi.

i stood up to my mom and told her that i wouldn't be attending thanksgiving this year... being a child of divorce makes the holidays too hectic, and utterly meaningless when you know your father is spending the entire day alone. so he's coming to my house.

i feel inspiring, for one of the first times in my life, but not to the individual i would have rather felt it with.

i paid my entire hospital bill, for an event that should have never happened, but at least it's all behind me.

i am spending halloween alone, doing laundry, watching t.v. and eating way too much candy. i am somewhat lonely, but time with myself always makes things clearer in my head. i know i am flirting with the idea of restricting my food again. i am trying to go to the gym everyday so it won't come to that, but i am much more sedentary now and i am watching all that i worked so hard to achieve get squishy. it's maddening.

hope all of you are well...