torihoney

is there anything better than lying on a blanket with almost all of your favorite people laughing and sharing thoughts as they come into your head, without worry of judgement? i think not. sharing intimacy without all of the messy fluid exchange is so fulfilling sometimes. but then again, that's a good time too...
i think i finally figured something out about myself... i'm going to put it into action tonight, hopefully without a total seige on my fragile little house of cards... maybe what i have to say, maybe my different perspective will finally break through all the facade... or i might just be kidding myself. either way i get to say what i think, and sometimes that has to be enough, even if things don't work out the way you think they should.
csi with my friends tonight! something to look forward to, without a doubt. i'm rereading lullaby by chuck palahniuk right now... the man is such a convoluted writer. i get something else out of his books everytime i read them. isn't it hard to view someone else's creations or art and wish that you had said/drawn/made it first? ....must..be...patient.... if i can just allow myself to fuck up and not fear other people's derision, i might finally grow as a writer. even if it's crap, it's all a process, you know?