so begins another week...
easter was fairly uneventful, as holidays go... i worked until late afternoon, then went to my mom's house and saw everyone there. i felt a little strange about being there by myself, and coming so late, but i thought "the sooner i'm there, the sooner i'm home getting the stuff done that's weighing on me." i feel as if i have a hundred different priorities pulling me in all directions, and no way to sift through on their importance to me, save one. my relationship is on my mind a lot these days, and i feel strangely calm, and unafraid. hopefully that's a good sign.
my brother wants me to go paintballing with him. i can't really understand why he thinks getting pelted with high velocity paint capsules is a good time, but then again, playing "army men" when we were kids never really appealed either. i'm glad he has a good time, he's an amazing man that shoulders alot of drama from many people he is close to. i wish i hung out with him more. last night, looking at both my brothers, i felt a little awestruck at the fact that they've become men, (and husbands and fathers) and i guess i still don't feel like i've grown up as fast. (though you would never know it from how i act, i am reserved and very adult in my dealings with others...) what age do you feel stuck (in the good sense of the word) in? i think back to how i felt at 22, recently graduated from college, waiting to feel like an adult, ready to start my adult life, and i still feel the same way. not much has changed, maybe i've grown more cynical, more realistic, and i'm not really a rube anymore.. but i always wonder when i'll feel grown up. maybe when i have kids?
i planted tomatoes and squash and green beans in the back yard... i water them, and wish them well, and will them to grow.. gardens make me happy.
i need to clean out my fridge and make dinner, and i DO NOT want to go to the store... so maybe it's ghoulash tonight? freezer surprise?
easter was fairly uneventful, as holidays go... i worked until late afternoon, then went to my mom's house and saw everyone there. i felt a little strange about being there by myself, and coming so late, but i thought "the sooner i'm there, the sooner i'm home getting the stuff done that's weighing on me." i feel as if i have a hundred different priorities pulling me in all directions, and no way to sift through on their importance to me, save one. my relationship is on my mind a lot these days, and i feel strangely calm, and unafraid. hopefully that's a good sign.
my brother wants me to go paintballing with him. i can't really understand why he thinks getting pelted with high velocity paint capsules is a good time, but then again, playing "army men" when we were kids never really appealed either. i'm glad he has a good time, he's an amazing man that shoulders alot of drama from many people he is close to. i wish i hung out with him more. last night, looking at both my brothers, i felt a little awestruck at the fact that they've become men, (and husbands and fathers) and i guess i still don't feel like i've grown up as fast. (though you would never know it from how i act, i am reserved and very adult in my dealings with others...) what age do you feel stuck (in the good sense of the word) in? i think back to how i felt at 22, recently graduated from college, waiting to feel like an adult, ready to start my adult life, and i still feel the same way. not much has changed, maybe i've grown more cynical, more realistic, and i'm not really a rube anymore.. but i always wonder when i'll feel grown up. maybe when i have kids?
i planted tomatoes and squash and green beans in the back yard... i water them, and wish them well, and will them to grow.. gardens make me happy.
i need to clean out my fridge and make dinner, and i DO NOT want to go to the store... so maybe it's ghoulash tonight? freezer surprise?
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xoxo,
j