torgaddon

I want to apologise for not being on here very much recently, i havent been reading many blogs or looking through the threads, i have missed reading about what has been happening in your lives but i feel that i need to get my life back on track and not plummeting over the edge into the abyss before i can get back to being the nice bloke that you all know (one friend thinks im cool, not sure how that happened!).

I think that i have managed to lose my identity. I have spent the last few months trying to be someone im not and im finding it hard to remember who i really am. In the vain hope of finding someone i have stopped doing alot of the things that are important to me and have found that im more unhappy now than i was then. (For a guy who used to work for a comic shop and collected them for 20 years i havent had the interest to pick one up since December. )

So im going to get back to who i was, it does mean that i wont be on here anywhere near asmuch as i have been but it means that i might be a happer guy when i am.

There are a couple of things that are playing on my mind and are becomming very real fears, the first is that i will be moving very soon which means that i will need to find another job and being a quiet, shy guy with non-existant confidence the thought of job interviews terrify me. I know im bad at them and that just makes me even more nervous. The other fear i have is one that some of my close friends know about and have been getting quite frustrated with me as it has caused me to do some truly stupid things. It basically boils down to the fact that im 30 in two years time and i have been single for too long and i really hate the feeling of being lonely.

Well thats the depressing bit over and done with.
Over the weekend i basically played WoW to stop me from sitting on SG and feeling sorry for myself and it was great, the people in the guild i have joined are really fun to play with and its been a happy experience. I also bought some funky underwear because i just hate opening my underwear drawer and seing plain black and grey trunks.

I also bought a new wallet, which is always a hard choice because i dont want a wallet that is just plain, the last wallet i had that i liked was one i bought about 5 years ago from River Island and it had a subway train print. It was an unusual wallet and i have never found anything like it since. Does anyone else look at wallets that way?

Im going to be spending a bit of time figuring out what i want to do with my life as i have been bumming through it and ignoring the bigger decisions, so uni might be back on the cards along with martial arts of some sort and im thinking of learning a new language, Japanese is one im interested in and maybe Italian.

Have fun everybody.