tooslow

So I'm standing there brushing my teeth and I come to a realization.
I have never made love to a girl. I've had sex, but that's all it was really. I don't even know what 'making love' is. Is that when you have sex real slow? If that's the case, then I haven't. Is it having sex, however fast or slow, with someone you love it? If that's it, then once again I haven't done it.

There has only been 1 girl that I've had sexual relations with that I really, truely cared for. And then it was only later that I realized that I cared for her. It was supposed to be a 1 night stand. But it was so much more than that. Atleast from my point of view.

What really sucks is that I don't know if I could ever have a normal relationship, whether sexual or not, with another again. I think it will always be about me.

And if that's it, then what's really the point? After 30 years I've come to realize that there are some people that are better off alone.
Hmmm......