Dear Michael Bay and New Line Cinema,
Thanks for ruining my fucking day already.
With everlasting hate, me
...So I imagine considering you are neither Michael Bay nor an executive at New Line (at least I have no reason to believe you are, but if so you probably shouldn't be wasting all your time reading this ad instead should be attempting to stop the remaking and murdering of horror classics) you're probably wondering what this is all about. This morning, I was pleasantly surprised to find that the trailer for the remake of A Nightmare On Elm Street was online. Goody gumdrops. My favorite slasher movie of all time, one of the only film/ film series that ACTUALLY scares me, and what do they do to it? Reuse the same camera shots and angles from the old film, butcher Freddy's face/make up, and FUCKING TRY TO HUMANIZE ONE OF THE MOST EVIL VILLAINS IN CINEMATIC HISTORY. Freddy was an evil bastard who killed (and possibly raped) children. What moron had the idea "Hey, I know. Let's make it so Freddy was wrongfully accused of being a child murderer. That make it even better!"
Well whoever you are, fuck you. fuck you ten times over. So far with what I've seen, I'm absolutely disgusted. My hopes were so high for this remake, not to mention the fact that Jackie Earl Halley as Freddy could have been fucking outstanding. But no. Apparently, Freddy was innocent, looks like Gary Oldman in Hannibal, and DOESN'T MAKE JOKES WHEN HE RIPS TEENAGERS TO PIECES. This is not the horror franchise I know and love. Goddamnit.
Mind you, I'm well aware of how hard I'm geeking out right now about this, but it's positively infuriating. So now, I get to go through a long day of work, class, and DJing a fucking sorority event where they'll ask me to play songs i don't have on my iPod. I won't be able to sit down until probably 9:30 PM or so. And I suppose staying up until 4 AM watching horror movies wasn't exactly the best plan either. GRR. Stupid Monday. Stupid college, Stupid world...
Fuck. I need to get out of this mopey, brooding funk I'm in.
I plan on walking around all day with "Uprising" by Muse playing on repeat in my head. So think that along with a slide show of horror movies images and you're in my head today. The end.
Thanks for ruining my fucking day already.
With everlasting hate, me
...So I imagine considering you are neither Michael Bay nor an executive at New Line (at least I have no reason to believe you are, but if so you probably shouldn't be wasting all your time reading this ad instead should be attempting to stop the remaking and murdering of horror classics) you're probably wondering what this is all about. This morning, I was pleasantly surprised to find that the trailer for the remake of A Nightmare On Elm Street was online. Goody gumdrops. My favorite slasher movie of all time, one of the only film/ film series that ACTUALLY scares me, and what do they do to it? Reuse the same camera shots and angles from the old film, butcher Freddy's face/make up, and FUCKING TRY TO HUMANIZE ONE OF THE MOST EVIL VILLAINS IN CINEMATIC HISTORY. Freddy was an evil bastard who killed (and possibly raped) children. What moron had the idea "Hey, I know. Let's make it so Freddy was wrongfully accused of being a child murderer. That make it even better!"
Well whoever you are, fuck you. fuck you ten times over. So far with what I've seen, I'm absolutely disgusted. My hopes were so high for this remake, not to mention the fact that Jackie Earl Halley as Freddy could have been fucking outstanding. But no. Apparently, Freddy was innocent, looks like Gary Oldman in Hannibal, and DOESN'T MAKE JOKES WHEN HE RIPS TEENAGERS TO PIECES. This is not the horror franchise I know and love. Goddamnit.
Mind you, I'm well aware of how hard I'm geeking out right now about this, but it's positively infuriating. So now, I get to go through a long day of work, class, and DJing a fucking sorority event where they'll ask me to play songs i don't have on my iPod. I won't be able to sit down until probably 9:30 PM or so. And I suppose staying up until 4 AM watching horror movies wasn't exactly the best plan either. GRR. Stupid Monday. Stupid college, Stupid world...
Fuck. I need to get out of this mopey, brooding funk I'm in.
I plan on walking around all day with "Uprising" by Muse playing on repeat in my head. So think that along with a slide show of horror movies images and you're in my head today. The end.