tonywestside

i'm beginning to realize that i'll probably never be happy. everything disgusts me. i have no idea what i'm doing with my life. who the fuck am i anyways? i think the real problem here is that i'm not really anyone. i don't feel anything anymore. i have numbed myself to the point of never going back. i walk around campus feeling like i'm in a conscious coma. i go to the bar not to have a good time, but to get drunk, scowl at people, and walk home drunk and self-loathing. is this really what i am? flesh and blood with nothing underneath? i can't shake the feeling that things will never, ever get better, that i'll always be alone, and that an ending to this ridiculous story i call my life can't come soon enough. not to depress you or anything. not that anyone would really care. but at the same time, it's not like i'm looking for some kind of sympathy...

i make no sense as a person, and i fell as though im doomed to be a villain.

all hail the disenchanter.