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tonywestside

Westpark

Member Since 2009

Followers 106 Following 133

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Monday Jun 08, 2009

Jun 7, 2009
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alright, so I guess instead of the usual (if you can really call it "usual") blog posts that are just stories/parts of stories, i'll actually talk a little about life. So I lost what was my summer job a little while ago and now i can't find work, not to mention the fact that i'm sure no one wants to hire someone for like 2 months. and it's too late to try to live in springfield (where i go to school) because i won't be able to find a place to live.

so far, i've spent most of the summer traveling back and forth between cleveland and springfield, stopping in columbus now and then, just visiting friends and drinking. but now, for at least the next week, i'm basically dog sitting and i'm stuck in cleveland (or at least the "greater cleveland area") with nothing to do and almost no one to hang out with. every year, less and less of my friends have been coming home for the summer and it sucks. i'm starting to realize that the people who have always been like a second family to me are all growing further apart. it's definitely a drag. what's even worse is that even with all of this free time, i'm not reading, writing, painting, or playing. i'm doing almost nothing creatively constructive and i hate it. i don't know how to break out of this funk i've gotten myself into. i'm always tired but i never sleep.

so long story short: i'm drinking and smoking too much, i'm slowly running out of money, i'm lonely and bored all the time, and i'm not bettering myself in any way, shape, or form.

maybe i'll just commit to losing my mind. i mean, the things i'd do wouldn't make a whole lot of sense, but it might be interesting and it would at least be something. i don't know though. but i'm kind of stuck thinking that if i just had someone with whom i can smoke cigarettes, drink coffee, and talk about... well, everything i guess.

i need something new, but i shouldn't be looking for that in a person, even though i think that's how most people deal with this kind of things. i mean, i've already done some of the other "new" things that people do when they need a change: cut my hair, made needless purchases, tried to quit smoking. nothings working. i need a change. i need something.

any thoughts?

cannonballs.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
insanity3666:
Right now bored outta my mind at work, tryning not to fall asleep. How's ur morning going?
Jun 9, 2009
insanity3666:
yea i was able to stay awake by web surfing. felt like i was in high school again. and my afternoon went by rather fast n boring, but now im relaxing tryna make plans for tonight.
Jun 9, 2009

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