tonia

i wasnt expecting so many nice birthday wishes, this just confirms for me that this site is the shit and all you people rock this fuckin world and are the most honest genuine people ive ever known in my whole time of being on line, and just in general as well, thanks so much everyone you put a huge smile on my face and got me out of my doldrum mood



i edited this entry because i didnt want to do a new one and have all the comments disappear, i left my poetry though! hehe

ps. i may be offline for a couple of weeks as i cant afford to renew SG until i get my next payment from centrelink haha
, bunch of stuipd fuckers they are! but dont worry ill be returning with a vengence! yes, yes i will, i love this site to much to not be on it, my last $20 of my credit card always goes to SG I MAY BE BROKE I MAY BE POOR I MAY BE EATING ON THE FLOOR BUT ILL ALWAYS BE A PART OF THIS DAMN SITE <3

_____

this broken life that once was mine,
shattered through the hands of time
a single tear rolls down her cheek,
spreading hatred among the weak
where she lies dawn does break
illuminating the fragile state
her body weak she bears the wrath
of lust turned sour and days passed
drifting slowly off in a haze
deaths door wearily in her gaze
she longs for the darkness, to give in
repenting all for dreary sins
as she sails through hatreds doors
crash lights burning, static whore
numbness flows the last drops of life
out of her body...out of the light.
-------------------------------------------
worthless thoughts
shameful lies
bathe me in sin, come on
glorify my mind
take control of my body
take control of my cunt
30 minutes of pleasure
tonight, i am your slut
treat me like the whore i am,
'cos i like it when you hit me,
fuck me,
rape me on the ground
bruise this face
with a plate of glass
cut me deeper
fucking make it last
leave the scars
inside my veins
let it be a reminder
of what i've lost and you have gained
so this is it,
time to pay up
leave your money on the table
and get the fuck out
-------------------------------------------
i dont need you to survive
i dont need you to tell me it'll be alright
ill take what i have left
and bury it, watch it die.
don't tell me to look after myself
don't tell me you care
cos i know what a fuckin liar you are
i know you love me in despair
never say that youre sorry,
for things you cant admit
never say that youre not mad,
when i can so cleary see it
somehow, i let you rip
my fucking heart from my throat
and some day, you'll see..what you realised
you lost.
you played this game, to perfection
burying my mind, in false love and lies
covering me in your shadow, making me think..
that you were it.
this is bullshit
take me back
to
where
i can
feel
i cant feel anything, when im with you.
except for maybe hatred, its burning everything,
i have left
is there anything left..?
-------------------------------------------
everytime i look at you,
words just cannot describe
the amount of hate i have in me
all the nausea inside
everytime you touch me
my skin begins to crawl
a thousand maggots sinking into my flesh
into the core of me,
just letting me know
theyre to be a reminder of you.
something, that will never escape me,
kind of like some tattoo.
-------------------------------------------
lost in a trance
drug induced daze
my mind turns numb
you feed me your pain
leave me here to choke
to wither and suppress
my emotions are worn out
nothing more
nothing less
peel off my skin
take a look inside
what was once yours
is now a filthy fucking lie
--------------------------------------------
one hand on the trigger
one foot in the grave
fake your life to
save your face
penny for your thoughts
nickel for your soul
wasting away,
just let it fuckin go.
i cut my arm cos i felt the sin
i bleed outwardly but i dont feel a thing
you were a sheep, in wolfs disguise
you fucked me over, blindside,
i cant feel what you want me to feel
i cant be anything, anything but surreal.
---------------------------------------------
slow
burning
memories
are lost
the broken glass
shattered
im trapped
frozen in time
my fractured body
your broken mind
theres no time
its my enemy
(i gasp for air)
bitterness is sweet<
fuck your afterlife