Well, here I am back in Colorado Springs. I had almost forgotten how crappy this town is. However, where I live isn't so much important to me. What is important is having family and/or friends nearby and having the oppotunities to persue what I want to do. Hopefully when the band moves to california I can fulfill the second requirement. Until then, it's just nice to be with friends.
It's still going to take some time getting used to living without Sarah. Having been engaged for 5 years and living together that long, you kind of feel lost without that other person around. It's getting easier, it hurts less, I haven't cried in days, but I still can't shake the feeling that I have lost a part of myself. I find myself thinking, "Sarah would like that" or "I can't wait to tell Sarah about this". I keep thinking of how we were planning to see "Pirates of the Carribean" together. All the things we were planning on doing together...
We got each others jokes. Often we had the same funny thought at the same time. Inside jokes and thoughts that no one other than the two of us would find amusing.
I feel in some ways that I am picking up from where I left off five years ago. It's a little frightening.
Anyhow, I'm trying to make the best of it. The guys have been a big help. Last night we all got drunk and sang karaoke. Of all things, I sang The Divinyls' "I Touch Myself". I was going to sing it in a cheesy lounge-singer style but it didn't work so about a quarter of the way into it I just decided to rock it out. The funny thing is that it sounded pretty good. In a disturbing sort of way. I also sang "White Wedding" and "Suck My Kiss". It was fun.
Tomorrow the guys are gonna' take me to see Body Count. The next day I'm going to see Strung Out.
I haven't picked up an electric guitar in months. Haven't tried to play punk rock in months. I'm a little rusty. But I'll get it back, I just need to practice.
I want to start playing again. I want to annihilate this fucking town. I want to go to L.A. and fuck some shit up. Other than the fact that I need to practice some more, I've never been more ready...mentally speaking. The rest will come with practice. I will practice non-stop until I am back on track. Should only take a couple of days.
It's still going to take some time getting used to living without Sarah. Having been engaged for 5 years and living together that long, you kind of feel lost without that other person around. It's getting easier, it hurts less, I haven't cried in days, but I still can't shake the feeling that I have lost a part of myself. I find myself thinking, "Sarah would like that" or "I can't wait to tell Sarah about this". I keep thinking of how we were planning to see "Pirates of the Carribean" together. All the things we were planning on doing together...
We got each others jokes. Often we had the same funny thought at the same time. Inside jokes and thoughts that no one other than the two of us would find amusing.
I feel in some ways that I am picking up from where I left off five years ago. It's a little frightening.
Anyhow, I'm trying to make the best of it. The guys have been a big help. Last night we all got drunk and sang karaoke. Of all things, I sang The Divinyls' "I Touch Myself". I was going to sing it in a cheesy lounge-singer style but it didn't work so about a quarter of the way into it I just decided to rock it out. The funny thing is that it sounded pretty good. In a disturbing sort of way. I also sang "White Wedding" and "Suck My Kiss". It was fun.
Tomorrow the guys are gonna' take me to see Body Count. The next day I'm going to see Strung Out.
I haven't picked up an electric guitar in months. Haven't tried to play punk rock in months. I'm a little rusty. But I'll get it back, I just need to practice.
I want to start playing again. I want to annihilate this fucking town. I want to go to L.A. and fuck some shit up. Other than the fact that I need to practice some more, I've never been more ready...mentally speaking. The rest will come with practice. I will practice non-stop until I am back on track. Should only take a couple of days.
you've invoked my inner compassion. I didn't realize it
was still there....I don't know very many people who I can give it to but you make me want to give it to you. (that sounded sexual but it wasn't meant that way.lol)
I've gotten my heart ripped out before. It was the most depressed and helpless I've ever felt.
Well, I hope you'll be rockin out and having a good time with the boys, especially if it makes you feel better!
take care
xoxo
xoxo