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toez

Santa Rosa

Member Since 2006

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A Rare Look Into the Brain of an Insecure Woman

Jan 20, 2014
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Hi, my name is Toez, and I'm insecure. Always have been. I am working on it, and I've found, the best way to work on it, is to be honest about it. Here is a list of the things that my brain is over-run with day in and day out...

I'm fat. I lost 150 lbs, then gained 50 back. I don't want to be as thin as I was at my thinnest, which honestly wasn't that thin, but it looked bad on me. Everyone said so. I look back at pictures (and there aren't many), and it looked like my skin was hanging off my bones. When I'm naked all I see is the extra skin that I never got removed from loosing so much weight so fast, and the fact that it's partially filled back up with fat. I look disgusting naked as far as I'm concerned. I love my breasts, and my lady bits aren't bad, but I do everything in my power to not see myself naked very often, much less let anyone else see me naked. My husband is constantly telling me I'm beautiful and sexy, and I think he honestly believes I am, and love him even more for that, but I wish I could think it myself.

I have my bad moments, but for the most part I eat pretty healthy. The only exercise I get though, is running around after a 3 year old. I have so many stupid excuses as to why I don't work out...I'm tired, I have no time, I have a bad knee (the doctor told me to exercise it, but literally said not to walk very much), I have asthma, blah blah blah.

I really don't expect anyone to read this, people hardly ever do, but it's nice to get it out there. I also don't expect comments lol, but if you feel so inclined, comment away.

I hope all is well with all of you!

justplaindoomed:
I didn't read this.  Just thought I'd say so.  Specifically because you said no one would. I have to post about it.  Having a supportive spouse is a great thing.  I try not to think about not having that support system and in that sense I envy you.  Also, chasing a 3 years old is hard work- also, living them can give you some MAD guns!
Jan 20, 2014
toez:
lol thanks @justplaindoomed
Jan 20, 2014

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