So I know how much you all love to hear about my weirdness...SO...
I have this weird problem in my brain. Anytime something is medically wrong with me, like my allergies, asthma, my knee problems, whatever it may be, I have to be practically forced to go see a doctor about it. I have this little voice in my head that is always telling me that it's not real, or that the doctor won't believe me, or that he will do tests and they will say there isn't really anything wrong with me.
This may stem from the fact that I honestly do have quite a few medial problems, or it could even be from an experience I had about 10 years back, where that basically happened. You see, I had just had weight loss surgery, and because of some complication I got really sick. I couldn't keep anything down. I was nauseous all the time. I couldn't go an hour without throwing up, and there was hardly ever anything in me to actually throw up. I was very ill. I had to be admitted to the hospital, I had a central line and a feeding tube. I almost died of malnutriton (I can still barely believe that was possible).
My doctor was baffled. He had no idea what was wrong with me. His associates had no idea, he even called doctor's he didn't know to try to figure it out to no avail. He never gave up on me though. But one day, he was in surgery, and the on call doctor took my mom aside, and told her that he thought I was faking. That there was no way I could be that sick and them not know why. She was PISSED. She told him off, then called my doctor and left him a message letting him know what happened. He was so mad that he yelled at the doctor in front of us, made him apologize and basically banned him from working with his patients.
I got better eventually. Obviously...
Why do I second guess myself?
I KNOW I have allergies, severe food allergies, but when my new doctor wanted to re-test to see the severity, I worried that the test would say I was lying.
This comes up now, because Friday I have to go in for a pulmonary function test for my asthma. It has been really bad this year, and my doctor wants to see where we stand. I'm afraid they're going to say that I don't even have asthma, never did, and my breathing problems are all in my head.
Blah.
I have this weird problem in my brain. Anytime something is medically wrong with me, like my allergies, asthma, my knee problems, whatever it may be, I have to be practically forced to go see a doctor about it. I have this little voice in my head that is always telling me that it's not real, or that the doctor won't believe me, or that he will do tests and they will say there isn't really anything wrong with me.
This may stem from the fact that I honestly do have quite a few medial problems, or it could even be from an experience I had about 10 years back, where that basically happened. You see, I had just had weight loss surgery, and because of some complication I got really sick. I couldn't keep anything down. I was nauseous all the time. I couldn't go an hour without throwing up, and there was hardly ever anything in me to actually throw up. I was very ill. I had to be admitted to the hospital, I had a central line and a feeding tube. I almost died of malnutriton (I can still barely believe that was possible).
My doctor was baffled. He had no idea what was wrong with me. His associates had no idea, he even called doctor's he didn't know to try to figure it out to no avail. He never gave up on me though. But one day, he was in surgery, and the on call doctor took my mom aside, and told her that he thought I was faking. That there was no way I could be that sick and them not know why. She was PISSED. She told him off, then called my doctor and left him a message letting him know what happened. He was so mad that he yelled at the doctor in front of us, made him apologize and basically banned him from working with his patients.
I got better eventually. Obviously...
Why do I second guess myself?
I KNOW I have allergies, severe food allergies, but when my new doctor wanted to re-test to see the severity, I worried that the test would say I was lying.
This comes up now, because Friday I have to go in for a pulmonary function test for my asthma. It has been really bad this year, and my doctor wants to see where we stand. I'm afraid they're going to say that I don't even have asthma, never did, and my breathing problems are all in my head.
Blah.
norcalcj:
I love you, Toez!!