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Tuesday Apr 20, 2010

Apr 19, 2010
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Warning: Another emo Toads post, Id give you something better but I simply cant right now.


Loneliness is winning the battle. Its getting harder and harder to wake up and get out of bed every morning. I've been going out, I haven't locked myself in, but its not working. I don't know how to start, or keep a conversation with a girl, I'm not a catch I'm a creepy over weight nerd, and even if I lost weight, I'm still a creepy nerd who doesn't know how to keep a conversation unless its about nerdy things or heavy topics that most people avoid due to arguments being started.

I went out sat night with some new friends, went to a restaurant, had a generally good time, except they where all coupled up and i was... alone. the majority of my friends are couples or Guys.

Went out sunday night with my roomate and her co-worker, whom i happen to find very attractive, but the whole night was spent the two of them texting back and forth with the guys they want. meaning it was 2 girls texting and talking about guys and me driving around feeling like utter shit cause im apparently only good to drive people around and make them occasionally laugh, but not good enough for anything else.

So her co-worker comes over again last night, with an ex boyfriend of hers, a guy she is trying to hook up with my roomate because my roomate and her cuddle buddy/boyfriend thing where kinda on the outs. he turns out to be kinda a creeper, and again the girls spend all their time talking about their boys and texting while the ex boyfriend texts his friends about weed and i sit, in my apartment, drinking beer and feeling totaly out of place and again... alone.

This seems to be the trend, every girl I have interest in is either in a relationship, or totally enamored with some one else, crushing and so on. I should just stop talking to girls, my hopes get up to easy and come crashing down to hard.

Im not good at the girl thing, I dont know how to talk to them, how to start a conversation. and before its even said, I know I know. "It will get better, its just a funk." and "I'm Sorry, stick with it, you'll get through this." , you've all been there, you know how i feel and so on. At this point, Im gonna have to disagree. It cant get any worse, but its not gonna get better. hell, the only reason im alive is 2 years old and living with her mother, and sometimes....
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
aandp:
Yo man -- don't be sad.
Just think - summer is coming.
And you hold the keys to your own destiny.
Apr 20, 2010
melaniek:
yes, yes we do. smile
Apr 21, 2010

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