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tnicole29

Hickville, NY

Member Since 2008

Followers 373 Following 243

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Tuesday Nov 16, 2010

Nov 16, 2010
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Dear body,

I understand that we've been going through a lot of shit together lately. I've let everyone and their grandmother poke and prod at you throughout the last 4 weeks. I just wanted to ask that you try to put as much effort as me to get you back to feeling okay and not being in pain everyday. I also want to thank you for allowing me to have sex. It's been horrible not being able to feel sexy or being able to be touched because i know it will lead to something I'm not allowed to do. Maybe it's my fault for having a crumby job and not properly taking care of you by taking you to crappy doctors and nurses that don't know what they are talking about. Now we are going to get to the bottom of this. I've solved a couple of mysteries and now we are going to figure out what is truly going on. I just ask that you help me feel better. I'm trying to work on getting our energy back and being able to run around and do the things that we want to be done. I'm sure going back to working out will increase our ability to feel better. You threw me for a loop there for a while and while i'm glad that we are working things out I'm afraid that you will never truly allow me to feel or be 100% better. I know this will be a journey for both of us as we get used to how things will have to be and how they'll be different. But you know what I want this. I love you the way you are but I need to do this for me. I'm not doing this because i hate the way you look or because i don't feel good in my skin. I'm not conforming to society but allowing myself to do something that i've wanted to do for so long and if that means i drop a few pounds in the meantime, well it's something we'll deal with together. If you could just go back to letting me have sex and letting me not be in terrible pain all the time i would really appreciate it. I need to feel accomplished. This may help people and lead to better things in the long run. I'm not changing myself but we are going to work together to be able to reach a goal. Don't think i'm abandoning you and making excuses for you.

love tnicole
blossy:
I know there are people who have said those things about you and I know that you will soon have someone say those things about you. I also hope that you are doing all right, your blog sounds as if you've been going through some shit lately. I hope everything looks up in the future and also, I work out every day for a few hours a day because I truly love working out, I have lost a few pounds along the way but really I am just comfortably me no matter what. I think you look amazing now and if going to gym helps you feel as if you look amazing (because it does boost confidence) then go ahead and do whatever you have to. You are gorgeous and you are awesome; you just need something to give you that boost.
Nov 16, 2010

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