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tjwills00

Lawrence

Member Since 2004

Followers 67 Following 119

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Sunday Jun 19, 2005

Jun 19, 2005
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I actually have tons to say but nothing that I can't coherently put down in words. But I'm at least going to try for a moment, so bear with me.

I love my life. Seriously, I don't think I could have a better life. Sure I'm about 20 pounds heavier than I want to be, but I'm working on that. My cholesterol is about 40 points higher than I want it to be, but I'm working on that too. But who wouldn't be happy with my life? I'm 26, marginally attractive, only slightly overweight, returning to school to study a subject that I am passionate about, and I am about to move to an new apartment with one of my favorite people in the world. I really truly am blessed. I'd say thanks to some higher power, but I don't really believe in any. So with this wonderful life, and the fact that I am truly not unhappy, there is something I do wish was different. I want to be in love again.

Yep, deep down the sarcastic, smart ass who prides himself on how much people who don't actually know him think he's an asshole is a hopeless romantic. A little known fact about me is that I tear up at romantic movies. My all time favorite movie is Say Anything... which to me is the best romance movie ever. The problem with being me is that i'm such a hopeless romantic that the real thing never lives up to my expectations. Well, except once.

I've been in love once. She was spectacular. Everything any man could want. Then she had a nervous breakdown and shut herself off from everything in her life. So, maybe not exactly what every man would want. I was, obviously, devastated and heartbroken, but it's been almost 7 years now. I honestly think I'm ready to move on.

So, on that note, I've got a date on Friday. I have to drive an hour and a half for it thought. It's a blind date, set up by an old friend who says this girl is just my type. I've talked to her on the phone and online and he seems to be mostly right. She plays guitar in a punk band and thinks I'm funny which are both big things in her favor. But, and this is a big but, she doesn't like to talk about politics or social issues(i.e. the war, abortion, gay marriage) because she says that her opinion doesn't really matter. So, now I'm faced with the decision of driving 1 1/2 hours for a date with a girl who while amazingly cute and a punk chick, probably will just want to go get drunk, talk about music(which I'm cool with), and then go back to her place. How sad is it that I'm at a point where that's not nearly as appealing as sitting and having an intelligent and passionate conversation with a woman of like or opposite opinions? I just want to meet somebody with passion about something.

That doesn't even just go for people to date. I want friends who have strong opinions and aren't afraid to express them. I want people who inspire me. I want to inspire people. My dream, actually, is a collective of friends who create revolutionary pieces of art, literature, music, and free thought.

As Margaret Mead said "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." I draw inspiration from that quote on a daily basis. That is what I want. I want to be a part of a group of people who want to change the world. I'm sick of apathy. I'm sick of people who are all talk, no action. I want to be part of a revolution in public discourse in this country.

So, who's with me? Let's raise the level of pubilic debate in this country. Let's change the world. And let's never forget the words of Margaret Mead.

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.

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