tjaden

When I got out of the car today, I thought I heard some birds chirping - an odd thing considering it's not exactly spring nor summer, and I haven't heard a bird chirping in months. I looked around to find the source of such a melodious warmth... only to discover that it was the sound of the tread of a backhoe as it was driving across a construction site beyond the trees...

I was disappointed.

Today was a somber day at work - I found K's info and informed the appropriate department that she'd... in March. I felt sick to my stomach for having looked, for knowing the information that I now know. It is stuff that her parents likely don't know. Her number has now been erased from our system. Erased. It is now listed as "None." In the notes, it says "employee reported deceased." I am that employee. I informed the "system," and now the system has been updated to reflect the most current information.

I feel like I have done something wrong - that I will be tracked down and fired for giving misinformation. But I won't. Because she is deceased, and she won't be in our system ever again.

Beyond that, I'm actually quite well. Really. Things are coming together for me, and this feels incredibly good. It's just that from time to time, K's memory comes back to make sure I don't forget.

Don't worry, K... I won't ever be able to forget - for reasons beyond the obvious.

What do you do when a melancholy fog settles in for the day?