tish

So, I went to Amateur Night last night.

Wasn't that a fuckin' joke. No shit. Jesus.

Here's the thing about Amateur Nights at strip clubs:

They're pretty much rigged. Now, by this I don't mean that a winner has been pre-selected - I mean that they allow people who work at the club where the contest is being held enter the contest (???). I don't mean the strippers; I mean the cocktail waitresses and shit. If you think you're gonna win an amateur contest with skill and finesse against some potbellied blonde chick with orange skin and stretch marks, you're fuckin' wrong, because she works there, and all the regulars are making sure she gets that 500.00, even though I work at a fuckin' movie store for minimum wage, and she's a goddamn cocktail waitress.

So. First and second place went to girls who were cocktail waitresses and thoroughly unimpressive strippers, but at least I made 53.00, right? Right. GOD I MADE THE MISTAKE OF LOOKING OVER AT MY PROFILE PICTURE AAAAAUGH FUCKING GROSS TROLL SHIT I mean. Please ignore it. It looks nothing like me. I don't have a double chin. x_x How unflattering.

Anyway.

FOR FUTURE REFERENCE: Amateur Contests are not really meant for people "not in the circle" to win.

Many people vouched that I was the best girl there (and strangely enough, the only actual amateur), because I busted my ass instead of just standing there and kind of swaying and sticking my ass in people's faces.

So.

TO ADVENTURE!