tinysharks

I am beyond tired
Fargone from overtired
I feel beat up
Every voice sounds like it's being shouted
Every request is an imposition
I think I need to sleep for a week

Knock me out

Brake Cables

To whomever stole the brake cables off of my bike
Thank you very much
Luckily there was a fence for me to grab onto last night before I went flying into traffic otherwise I might not have been around to write you this letter
I hope someone steals not just pieces off of your bike but your whole bike
And I hope you...
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At An Open Bar Without A Wrangler
The open bar
The idea is simple enough:
For a nominal fee patrons can drink as much as they want for a predetermined amount of time
Drink until time runs out
Or the liquor runs out
Or the will to drink runs out
Or the ability to drink runs out
Its a dangerous practice
And I fell victim...
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The Freshmaker

My roommate gave me a box of white Mentos the other day
Within 20 seconds I had every Mento in my mouth at the same time
I know
I know
Its a little gross
Not the point
As I struggled to breathe I started reading the side of the box
Serving size: 1
Has anyone ever eaten one Mento?
Except of course when...
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Am I Alone?

Maybe Im alone in this:
Michael Jackson not guilty
Great
Wonderful
Now leave the man alone and let him be weird in peace

I know Im not alone in this:
2012 Summer Olympics in NYC
Are you kidding?
As if this place isnt bad enough in the summer
Go down into the subway this afternoon, around 5:30
Multiply the number of people...
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Damn You, Virgin!!!!!!

I need a handler
Or at the very least, an accountant
Someone to give me an allowance
Actually I just need someone to keep me out of Virgin
This past week Ive been unstoppable in there
Picking up three or four cds at a clip
I think were up to 9 since Monday
If you add in the 6 others I was...
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Nap Attack

I dont sleep well anymore
I wake up exhausted
And then Im exhausted all day
I get home and Im still exhausted
Its not that I wake up 87 times in the middle of night
Its not that I have a problem falling asleep
I could fall asleep right now

Conceivably, I could nap all day
I guess that wouldnt be napping though...
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It's only 7:20 and we may already have the quote of the day:

My father threw me down the stairs as a kid, but he took me to 9,000 baseball games so I guess that makes up for it.

On Being Dashing

It's hot out
From now until the middle of September I am officially a fat kid
The sweating
Sweetjesus the sweating
Like I sprung a leak
I hate the summer


3-0 yesterday
Did some umpiring
People really need to relax
Calling a ball foul is not a personal attack on you
Oh
I'd really rather not to have to run you over...
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