tinyhobo

Hey there folks. Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

I feel great.
There however is a sadness inside of me, something gripping my soul. My mom is very sick. She had a nervous breakdown this past Weds. She didnt call to tell me until Sat. She kills me you know? I dont know what to do. She is a grown woman with no coping devices for anything. She internalizes everything. What hurts the most is that my younger brother is stuck there through all this. He also interalizes alot, so he doesnt talk about what bothers him, then he combusts. I think I may go up there on Friday and take care of them. Maybe take him out to see Reno 911 and do some chores for my mother. I can't dwell. You can't change someone, I just worry about my brother. I know this sounds cold, but she has made life choices that I will never be able to support. I love my mother so so much. It saddens me.

There is a huge feeling of release knowing I will be leaving my company. I hate it here so much, Im ready to go.
I look forward to doing what I was doing before, and having the support of the owner makes it so much better.
It was nice, when I walked into the meeting he said,"hey kiddo, you lost some weight, damn." It made me feel good, little things got noticed, he said I seem more mature, and more ready for life. He is right I am ready.

I also am ready for my site. I have a weekend at the end of April to get some more content for the launch. I will be working my ass off till then to get my body tighter. I wont be killing myself. My hair is lighter, and I cut my hair myself yesterday, it looks way cute. I will get you pics eventually.

My DS has been quite a timekiller, and ithelps me sleep better. I zone out on Animal Crossing for a bit before sleep, then I'm off to dream land.

I miss Martini. Its great to know there are such amazing people in the world.

Sometimes it feels wonderful to know I dont need to be painted up to feel beautiful. I look in the mirror know and know that i am loved, and that it enough for me. He loves me as much as I love him, she loves me as much as I love her. I am reflections of their adoration.

So, I think I found my wedding dress. Its in my head, I'm going to make it myself. It shall be simple. Asian inspired.

I have too much to say, and dont want to bore you.

I need some girlkisses...as per usual.

I found out that the kids that I stopped from robbing the store yesterday, attempted to rob another place down the street and the cops got them. We are getting an alarm, as our hood is going down the crapper at a very quick rate.

Did anyone watch the winner last nite?
I dug it, and I'm not much for TV that isnt animated.

le sigh. Suppose I should stop blabbing.