tinkly

Today was one of the worst days ever.

My best friend is moving away.

I have known for a long time he is going (probably longer than he has) but last night I spoke to him and it really seemed to hit home.
He needs to go for the sake of his own sanity because life here for him is both complicated and painful. I feel so incredibly selfish but I really cant stand the though of not having him around.

He asked me to go with him but it would just make the situation worse.

The foreseeable future is a mess of heartache and pain for both of us, I think it would help for us to have each other. He thinks he needs a clean slate and a fresh start.

He is the touchstone for my sanity, my shoulder to cry on and without fear of being judged the one person I can tell anything!! I hope I have been as good a friend to him.

I feel guilty because I don't feel like I have any right to feel like this, I should be happy he is sorting himself out ......................................................................................shouldn't I??