A guy at work just told me one of the funniest offensive jokes that I've heard in awhile . Not "offensive" , as in racial or anything like that . Offensive in sexual terms . I don't know why I'm even bothering to give the "explicit content" speech 'cause A) It's not THAT bad and B) I'm telling you this joke on a friggin' porn...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
clara:
I didn't say I joined the group, just that I allowed it to exist. Yeesh!
clara:
Yep. There's grody pictures in my "injuries" folder.
WOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
I just got my computer back up and runnin' after some much needed after market modifications . I got a new video card , some serious RAM , and some "17" inch spinnin' rims on the side . This sucker COOKS , now . After I paint some flames on the side it will be ready to show off and earn me some RESPECT...
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I just got my computer back up and runnin' after some much needed after market modifications . I got a new video card , some serious RAM , and some "17" inch spinnin' rims on the side . This sucker COOKS , now . After I paint some flames on the side it will be ready to show off and earn me some RESPECT...
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I had one of those days where I didn't really have ANYTHING to do . I did some laundry , cleaned my messy-ass apartment , and then...nothing . I just pretty much sat on my ass in front of either the computer or the T.V. , and ate ravioli out of a can . It was AWSOME!!!! 
I AM a one man party . Bow...
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I AM a one man party . Bow...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
yebutz:
NORRITT....DON'T YOU KNOW YOUR CHEF-BOYARDEE FROM YOUR FRANCO-AMERICAN?
Jeez!
Jeez!
clara:
the skull is ok. the arm is less so, but basically ok. you?
Has anybody seen the new PIKMIN(?) commercial by Nintendo ? The one with an army of midgets in multi-colored bodysuits running through the streets of New York chanting " Hot dog , hot dog , hot dog . " ? Then they swarm over a hot dog stand and grab some guy's weiner ( 
) which they return to their master who dryly remarks "...
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) which they return to their master who dryly remarks "... Read More
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
yebutz:
i saw the commercial last night...ha-ha-ha funny, funny
-me
-me
yebutz:
bloody hell---did you get my email????
Has anybody been watching the Olympics ? I watch every now and then . I am as patriotic as the next person , but there's just something WRONG with the events that they have . The Olympics are supposed to be about putting differences aside and bringing together people of all nations for some fun and games . That means ALL people . The only...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
norritt:
ikea is turning into the disney world of home furnishings
you should have a contest for customers
whoever catches the rat get 15% off or something
you should have a contest for customers
whoever catches the rat get 15% off or something
Firstly , an announcement . ALTERNATE UNIVERSE WEEK is now officialy over . Thusly my regular universe favorite SG's are back where they belong . I would like to thank my A.U.W. Sg's for joining me last week . You will all be missed . 
With the beginning of the Olympics , I have been struck with a deep sense of patriotism . Despite my...
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With the beginning of the Olympics , I have been struck with a deep sense of patriotism . Despite my...
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VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
clara:
I don't like to quote a sneaker, but it's impossible to argue with the simplicity:
Just do it.
Just do it.
tiamat:
so glad i am a fav.
According to America's Funniest Home Videos...we as Americans find animals being silly , Celebrity's being silly , and grown men getting hit in the balls to be ABSOLUTELY the funniest thing EVER. As a result of this data that I have compiled I believe THE funniest thing EVER is as follows . Here is what it would be...Take Johnny Depp or somebody of equal celebrity...
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aoife:
The midget would have to have a mullet, and I think it would probably be someone like Will Ferrell or Adam Sandler rather than Johnny Depp--Johnny Depp's humor isn't lowbrow enough for most people. 
clara:
Oh man, did you miss out on something goofy. Try not to bump if you can avoid it.
http://suicidegirls.com/boards/Lifestyle/48032/
http://suicidegirls.com/boards/Lifestyle/48032/
It's still ALTERNATE UNIVERSE WEEK , so my alternate univers SG's are stayin up until Sunday . Feel free to celebrate A.U.W. in your own special way . I've been threatening Boy Scouts and sending hate mail to Mother Theresa . . 
Since I was in New Haven for my birthday , some of my Pittsburgh peeps are taking me out after work Thursday night...
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Since I was in New Haven for my birthday , some of my Pittsburgh peeps are taking me out after work Thursday night...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
clara:
No problem. I'm sure it's the right thing to do.
clara:
Gooooooood. 
Because my trip to New Haven hath struck me down with overworking fatigue , I'm just going to do...THIS .
It's ALTERNATE UNIVERSE WEEK!!!! YIPEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Okay , as promised...
So Connecticut SUCKED . Let me tell you of one of the evils that run rampant in that dark and desolate land . Me and some co-workers got out of work "early" at 11:00pm . So...
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It's ALTERNATE UNIVERSE WEEK!!!! YIPEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Okay , as promised...
So Connecticut SUCKED . Let me tell you of one of the evils that run rampant in that dark and desolate land . Me and some co-workers got out of work "early" at 11:00pm . So...
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VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
hastwothumbs:
JFK saved the day.
clara:
Ack! Uncross something.
P.S. Never going to CT. Ever.
P.S. Never going to CT. Ever.
Alright kids . I'm off to Connecticut , for better or worse . I may not be making much sense because I had to get up so early for my flight , that I decided not to go to sleep . Thank God for Red Bull . Somehow my body is awake while my brain is asleep . ROCK!!!!
I will leave you with two...
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I will leave you with two...
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VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
hastwothumbs:
The Birthday Song, as performed by Jack Black.
JB:
(singing)
Birthday Birthday Birthday for you
It's hard to believe another year is through
Slipping through the mists of time
Cosmic traveler with mirror eyes
Doth peer from between his mother's thighs
Blood slicked and with purple skin
The babe does emerge from her vagina within
While the mother screams like a witch; like a bitch
Happy Birthday
(spoken)
Stare into the cold light of life
You will see it again
You will see it again
Chorus:
(singing)
And what is this cold dark world
Upon whose shores I'm so rudely thrust
Glov-ed hand of the mad man delivers a smack
Unkind, Unjust
JB:
Father, is that you, through clouds of the cosmos blue
It's a boy
It's a girl
It's a soul
Or is it
Hahahaha
(spoken)
Mother, is that you?
It's my birthday.
Crone:
I have a secret for your ear, not your eye
The moment you are born, you begin to die
JB:
Crone, be gone!
Crone:
Away! Fulfill your destiny, unwind the clock.
Happy Birthday.
JB:
Thou knowest me not!
With this sword I cleave thee into the world
Through the stormy deep the babe is hurled
Tetragrammaton!
Chorus:
(singing)
Happy Birthday (repeated)
JB:
(spoken)
Abraxas! Abraxas! I give myself to thee!
No! Why this shattered life?
Why was I born of woman?
Hideous vision, what wouldst thou with me?
Eternity:
Happy Birthday.
JB:
Weary traveler, who are you?
Eternity:
I'm Eternity.
JB:
Wilst thou not let me pass on this journey?
Eternity:
(singing)
If you answer me this riddle, then Asgard's treasure shall be thine
In the name of Thor
Who is your father
Who is your mother
What is the answer
Mortal speak
JB:
No, can it be
The answer that you seek is...
It's me
It's me
It's me
Happy Birthday
JB:
(singing)
Birthday Birthday Birthday for you
It's hard to believe another year is through
Slipping through the mists of time
Cosmic traveler with mirror eyes
Doth peer from between his mother's thighs
Blood slicked and with purple skin
The babe does emerge from her vagina within
While the mother screams like a witch; like a bitch
Happy Birthday
(spoken)
Stare into the cold light of life
You will see it again
You will see it again
Chorus:
(singing)
And what is this cold dark world
Upon whose shores I'm so rudely thrust
Glov-ed hand of the mad man delivers a smack
Unkind, Unjust
JB:
Father, is that you, through clouds of the cosmos blue
It's a boy
It's a girl
It's a soul
Or is it
Hahahaha
(spoken)
Mother, is that you?
It's my birthday.
Crone:
I have a secret for your ear, not your eye
The moment you are born, you begin to die
JB:
Crone, be gone!
Crone:
Away! Fulfill your destiny, unwind the clock.
Happy Birthday.
JB:
Thou knowest me not!
With this sword I cleave thee into the world
Through the stormy deep the babe is hurled
Tetragrammaton!
Chorus:
(singing)
Happy Birthday (repeated)
JB:
(spoken)
Abraxas! Abraxas! I give myself to thee!
No! Why this shattered life?
Why was I born of woman?
Hideous vision, what wouldst thou with me?
Eternity:
Happy Birthday.
JB:
Weary traveler, who are you?
Eternity:
I'm Eternity.
JB:
Wilst thou not let me pass on this journey?
Eternity:
(singing)
If you answer me this riddle, then Asgard's treasure shall be thine
In the name of Thor
Who is your father
Who is your mother
What is the answer
Mortal speak
JB:
No, can it be
The answer that you seek is...
It's me
It's me
It's me
Happy Birthday
amethyst:
pittsburgh eh? well that is a lil far but thanx anyway lol if ever I'm out that way we'll make a day of it!
