tinfoilhalo

HAPPY DRUNKY SUPER MEGA CONTEST

Okay kids , it's time for another super-duper contest from your Uncle Tinfoil . Are 'ya excited????? Sure 'ya are . Just exactly WHAT kind of contest is it , you may ask . It's a HAPPY DRUNKY SUPER MEGA CONTEST!!!! Sheesh , I thought that you would have noticed it what with all of the capitol letters and monkeys up there . Here's how the contest is gonna' go down . I went out this evening and purchased SIX different bottles of micro-brewed beer from my locally licensed suds slingers at The Trivia Pub in scenic Moon Township , PA . Here is what YOU , my happy little enablers , have to do . I will give you the names of these six bizarre and mysterious brews , and you have to guess which beer that yours truly will find the most pleasant to my discriminating tasebuds . Now I have never tried any of these beers before , and chose them solely due to their name or label on the front . You can do one of two things , if you choose to accept this incredibly stupid proposal . You can guess which beer I will enjoy guzzling the bestest , or you can go for extra points and number EACH beer from 1-being the best to 6-being the...uhhh...not best . Which one will taste like a tall frosty bottle of liquid joy , which one will taste like a tall frosty bottle of rancid yak piss???? NOBODY KNOWS .

Here are the contenders ...

1) Dogtoberfest Beer from the Flying Dog Brewery in Denver , CO . ( It has a picture of a wacked out drunken dog and two singing German men in liederhosen on the bottle )

2) Untouchable Pale Ale from the Speakeasy Brewery in San Francisco , CA . ( It has a picture of an old timey 20's era gangster on the bottle )

3) Golden Monkey Trple Ale from Victory Brewing Co. in Downington , PA . ( It has an awsomely weird Bhuddist looking gold monkey with a large staring eye in his belly . I LOVES me some monkeys . )

4) Saranac Black Forest Bavarian Style Beer from the Matt Brewing Co. in Utica , NY ( It has a lovely scenic forest on the label )

5) Dogfish Head Raison D'Etre from Dogfish Head Craft Brewery in Lewes , DE . It has a picture of a dogfish on the label . )

6) Sweaty Betty Blonde from the Boulder Beer Co. in Boulder , CO . ( It has an odd looking illustration of a blonde woman on the label )

So there you have it . Now I don't foresee myself drinking all six of these in one night , so it may take a couple nights to come to a final verdict . So you have some time to get your guesses in . Now for the good part . WHAT , pray tell , do we win in this foolish little game of chance ? You want to know what you win ? I'll tell 'ya what you win . You win GUAM!!!! That's right . You win the entire island nation of Guam .



When I take over the world , I will generously give you your very own tropical island!!!! Don't like the name Guam??? Change it . It's YOUR island . It can be Monster Island , Candy Apple Island , or just plain old Bob's Island . I don't give a crap!!! It's YOURS!!!! Don't like the Guamish people? Kick 'em the hell off your island!!!! Tell them I said it was cool . They can move to France . I'm moving the French OFF my planet . Possibly to Mars , possibly to the Neptune , possibly to the nearest black hole . I haven't decided yet , but I don't want them Frenching up MY planet . NO SIR . What do you care ? You now own GUAM!!!!! HOOOOO-RAYYYY FOR GUAM!!!!!

So get to guessin' my little dictators in waiting . You may wind up with a whole freakin' island for your troubles!!!! GO,GO,GO!!!!!!

Edited to add...When I rule the entire world , I'm gonna' ask Fractal to be my co-ruler . What a gorgeous lady she is , huh?