tinfoilhalo

[ THIS JUST IN...I was just at the video store and had to share this . I was looking at movies and three of the WHITE TRASHIEST girls that I've ever seen were being all loud and obnoxious . One was talking about the movie Saw ( Only she referred to it as "The Saw" ) . She was like " I tried to watch this with my boyfriend and we turned it off after ten minutes 'cause it was SO scary . " Then , and this was the best part , the gaggle of idiots say " It's so scary 'cause it's a true story . Yeah , it REALLY happened up in Ohio somewhere . " I almost pissed myself .

I don't know about you guys , but I loves me some Shark Week on Discovery channel . Yeah . So...I'm a nerd .

Anyway...even after that girl got attacked by a shark in Florida last month I still like to watch stuff about sharks . I think they're cool . BUT...I don't think that they're so cool that I want to go try and cuddle with them . Incase you might have missed the description of a shark , they are large PREDATORY fish . These fucking people on some of these shows are just hanging out in an ocean full of sharks and when they get attacked they act all shocked and surprised . IDIOTS!!!!! I think I mentioned this theory to
Destro back when the girl in Florida got attacked , but for those of you who missed it...I originally said that sharks were the Street Gangs of the ocean . I would now like to retract that statement and call sharks the BOUNCERS of the ocean . They'll let you cavort and frolic around in the shallow " Visitors " area , but as soon as you wander into the deeper "Employees Only " area , you get bounced . Sometimes VIOLENTLY bounced . Understand that you are in THEIR home , and they can kick you out if they want to...or eat you . Shark's house , shark's rules .

Now , that said , let me tell you about the stupid shit that I saw last night . There was a camera crew that were trying to film great white sharks . Fine . They had a nice shark cage to film from . Great . The one girl on the crew wanted to be the first woman to film great whites outside of a shark cage . What???? Uhhhhm...I don't know about all of that , but I admire her courage . She and some guy with a long spear thingy that he hoped would deter an gigantic attacking eating machine go out swimmin' with the monster death fish . Not the smartest thing I've ever seen , but they did it . Now get back in the fucking cage and get you dumb asses out of the water . NO!!!! This idiot says she wants to RIDE a great white!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK????? If you were in Africa would you get out of the truck and try to snuggle a lion ? No. That's crazy . If you were in Australia would you jump in the water and try to tickle a salt water crocodile ? Hell no , those things'll tear you to shreds . WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS SANE WOULD YOU POSSIBLY THINK THAT IT WOULD BE OKAY TO TRY AND RIDE ON THE BACK OF AN ENORMOUS MEAT EATING FISH ????????? Well , the dumb ass beeyotch gave it a try . Guess what happened ? Yep . The shark turned and tried to attack her . The other dude's jabbing at the shark with his little spear gun thing , and the sharks just biting the shit out of the spear like it's a fucking Twizzler . The girl swims toward the cage and the shark actually swims in between her and the cage and cuts her off . Everybody on the boat is screaming and panicking . Me...I'm rooting for the shark now . I'm like "Bite her dumb ass in half and teach EVERYBODY a valuable lesson ". Finally the shark seems like he's made his point and turns to swim away . The spear guy tells the girl to get in the cage and then quickly follows her in . They pull the cage out AND THE DAMN GIRL DOESN'T WANT TO GET OUT UNTIL SHE RIDES A SHARK!!!! The entire rest of the crew is like "Get your dumb ass on this boat NOW!!!!" So everything has a happy ending...except for the shark . He had to go home hungry , and after those pricks tried to ride him and jab him with a friggin spear . How unfair . Maybe next time , buddy . Stupid people ALWAYS fuck up eventually .