It's been awhile since I REALLY went off on a rant about something . So I'd say i'm about do...PREPARE!!!!!
RANT ONE : ENTER THE RANT...
Why in the name of all of our crusty forefathers are fireworks illegal in the great state of Pennsylvania????? This is the STUPIDEST goddamn thing that I have ever heard of !!!!! We , as Americans , should all have the right to celebrate our Independence Day by blowing our digits off with M-80s and setting the surrounding area aflame with Roman Candles . So WHY can't we ????? This makes no sense . We already suffer by not being able to go to the friggin' 7-11 to buy beer . NOOOOO....we have to go to a Beer Distributer . LAME . But this isn't about beer . This is about personal explosive devices . We can just drive across the state line to Ohio or West Virginia and pick up some mini bombs , so WHY can THEY sell them legally and WE can't ???? In the immortal words of Jack Nicholson as The Joker...This town ( or state as the case may be ) needs an enema!!!!! Fuck this!!!!! Canada is looking better and better . I'll bet you can buy small yield nuclear warheads at the local grocery store there .
RANT TWO : REVENGE OF RANT....
I heard the absolute STUPIDEST , most GUT WRENCHINGLY IRRITATING commercial on the radio today . It has this "Doctor of Behavioral Science " talking about " Are your kids out of control ? Do you feel like you need a handbook on how to make your kids listen to you again ? " BLAH , BLAH , FUCKING BLAH . Listen up , you fuckwits . If you need to call a doctor on the radio to help you raise your kids , you should have your kids taken away from you and then have your fucking genitals removed with a belt sander and / or a soldering iron!!!! What is wrong with you stupid , new-age , yuppie fucks????? "Waaahhhh....little Cody or Dylan or whateverthefuck won't listen to me when I tell him to do something . He's so rebellious . What can I do , doctor ? " Smack the little bastard in the head , that's what!!!!! You want to know what happened to me when I was a kid and I fucked up ? My mom whacked me in the head . If I did it again , I got whacked HARDER . After the second smack in the melon , I usually got the point that I shouldn't be doing that . DISCIPLINE YOUR GODDAMN YUPPIE SPAWN , YOU GUTLESS PUSSIES!!!! If you don't then they will grow up to be serial killers and rapists . Simple as that . FUCK!!!!!
RANT THREE : RANT VS. TIRADE...
Okay , this isn't so much a rant as it's just something else that I heard on the radio today and found it noteworthy . Some guy in New York state got arrested at a public park for spying on girls going to the bathroom . Sick and twisted , but not uncommon . WAIT!!!! He did it in an outhouse style restroom . How , you ask ? He climbed down into the pit of human excrement and waited for them to sit down .
I may be in a bit of a drought for female companionship as of late , but no matter how bad a dry spell I am experiencing , I have NEVER thought " You know what ? I'll bet it would be REALLY hot if I immersed myself in a noxious cauldron of vile human filth and waited for a girl to sit down and then proceed to drop even more human waste on me . " This horrible , HORRIBLE diversion from the evolutionary chart has some SERIOUSLY fucked up wiring in his head . You know why ? PROBALY BECAUSE HIS GODDAMN PARENTS DIDN'T SMACK HIM IN THE FUCKING HEAD WHEN HE NEEDED IT!!!!! 
Whew....I'm spent . Until next time....TinfoilHalo , over and out .
P.S. I'm going to be airing a new T.V. show from the TinfoilHalo Broadcasting Network starting today . It's called "I Love Lucia " .
RANT ONE : ENTER THE RANT...
Why in the name of all of our crusty forefathers are fireworks illegal in the great state of Pennsylvania????? This is the STUPIDEST goddamn thing that I have ever heard of !!!!! We , as Americans , should all have the right to celebrate our Independence Day by blowing our digits off with M-80s and setting the surrounding area aflame with Roman Candles . So WHY can't we ????? This makes no sense . We already suffer by not being able to go to the friggin' 7-11 to buy beer . NOOOOO....we have to go to a Beer Distributer . LAME . But this isn't about beer . This is about personal explosive devices . We can just drive across the state line to Ohio or West Virginia and pick up some mini bombs , so WHY can THEY sell them legally and WE can't ???? In the immortal words of Jack Nicholson as The Joker...This town ( or state as the case may be ) needs an enema!!!!! Fuck this!!!!! Canada is looking better and better . I'll bet you can buy small yield nuclear warheads at the local grocery store there .
RANT TWO : REVENGE OF RANT....
I heard the absolute STUPIDEST , most GUT WRENCHINGLY IRRITATING commercial on the radio today . It has this "Doctor of Behavioral Science " talking about " Are your kids out of control ? Do you feel like you need a handbook on how to make your kids listen to you again ? " BLAH , BLAH , FUCKING BLAH . Listen up , you fuckwits . If you need to call a doctor on the radio to help you raise your kids , you should have your kids taken away from you and then have your fucking genitals removed with a belt sander and / or a soldering iron!!!! What is wrong with you stupid , new-age , yuppie fucks????? "Waaahhhh....little Cody or Dylan or whateverthefuck won't listen to me when I tell him to do something . He's so rebellious . What can I do , doctor ? " Smack the little bastard in the head , that's what!!!!! You want to know what happened to me when I was a kid and I fucked up ? My mom whacked me in the head . If I did it again , I got whacked HARDER . After the second smack in the melon , I usually got the point that I shouldn't be doing that . DISCIPLINE YOUR GODDAMN YUPPIE SPAWN , YOU GUTLESS PUSSIES!!!! If you don't then they will grow up to be serial killers and rapists . Simple as that . FUCK!!!!!
RANT THREE : RANT VS. TIRADE...
Okay , this isn't so much a rant as it's just something else that I heard on the radio today and found it noteworthy . Some guy in New York state got arrested at a public park for spying on girls going to the bathroom . Sick and twisted , but not uncommon . WAIT!!!! He did it in an outhouse style restroom . How , you ask ? He climbed down into the pit of human excrement and waited for them to sit down .
I may be in a bit of a drought for female companionship as of late , but no matter how bad a dry spell I am experiencing , I have NEVER thought " You know what ? I'll bet it would be REALLY hot if I immersed myself in a noxious cauldron of vile human filth and waited for a girl to sit down and then proceed to drop even more human waste on me . " This horrible , HORRIBLE diversion from the evolutionary chart has some SERIOUSLY fucked up wiring in his head . You know why ? PROBALY BECAUSE HIS GODDAMN PARENTS DIDN'T SMACK HIM IN THE FUCKING HEAD WHEN HE NEEDED IT!!!!!
Whew....I'm spent . Until next time....TinfoilHalo , over and out .
P.S. I'm going to be airing a new T.V. show from the TinfoilHalo Broadcasting Network starting today . It's called "I Love Lucia " .
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
kaela:
Hey! Psst! Go check out my journal!!!!!!
norritt:
i dont know about the fireworks thing ppl are idiots im afraid they'll accidently set off a fire and kill me.. the other 2 are agreeable actually pretty much every radio commercial is complete bs