I must inflict my Star Wars geekiness upon you all . For those of you who do not like Star Wars , or are just wankers , please skip this particular journal . 
Okay , the other day I got into a discussion about the Star Wars movies with a couple of friends at work . A few humorous things came up that I'd like to share with yinz .
1) Hows come only Jedis get to come back as glowy blue spirits and talk to people ? Why no Siths ? I think it would be effing hilarious if at the end of Return of the Jedi when Luke looks over and sees Obi Wan , Yoda ,and Anakin if all of a sudden the ghost of the Emperor appeared behind Annakin and gave him a " FORCE WEDGIE " , called him a punk-ass and then disappeared again . Or for that matter if Darth Maul's spectre appeared in Star Wars and spilled the beans about Luke's daddy being Darth Vader and how Luke shouldn't train with Obi Wan 'cause he's the suckiest Jedi master ever since he failed to train Annakin properly and then when he tried to fix his mistake he left him alive and pissed off so he could come back and wreck havock across the galaxy for twenty more years . Then he'd just start talking trash like Mr. T in Rocky 3 " Yo , Kenobi!!!! You KNOW you sucker slashed me back on Naboo!!!! You ain't no Jedi master , you just a chump!!!! That's right , fool . Soon as you die , I'm gonna lay some dark side ass kickin' down on you !!!! Come on Kenobi , stop duckin' me!!!! " .
[2] Another thing was when Padme is giving birth to the twins at the end of ROTS she just blurts out "Luke" and "Leia" . It would have been FAR more entertaining if she said , like , " Herb" and " Ethel" or something first , then changed her mind . Or even better if she said those names and died , Obi Wan and Yoda look at each other and go " NO FREAKIN' WAY . I refuse to have the savior of the galaxy be called HERB Skywalker . How bout....uhhhh....Luke???? YEAH . LUKE SKYWALKER . . That's got a nice ring to it . To hell with Padme's dying wishes , we're going with Luke . "
[3] FINALLY..why in the name of all that is good and decent didn't Yoda or Obi Wan intervene and tell Luke that Leia was his sister BEFORE he wound up sucking face with her ????? Christ , that's STILL gotta' be traumatic for the poor kids . You find out that the evil Sith Lord that's trying to crush you and destroy your friends is your dad , that's rough . You find out that the girl you've been having X-rated fantasies about is your sister.....that's not something you can EVER get over . Obi Wan's ghost was probably watching and talking to Yoda at the same time . " WHOA . Dude , he's gonna French his sister!!!! " Yoda's like " NO!!!! Stop them you must!!!! Fuck him up for life this will!!!! " Obi Wan just snickers and says " Oh come on . It'll be FUNNY when we tell him . " Yoda just kinda' frowns and grumbles " Hmmmmph...One psychotic Skywalker not enough for you is ???? If evil this one turns , lose your Jedi membership card you will . " [ It has been mentioned that LEIA kissed Luke . True , but Obi Wan knew that Leia was Luke's sister...and SHE had the force too . Obi Wan's just a pervert . ]
Okay . I'm done . Back to your regularly scheduled programs .
Okay , the other day I got into a discussion about the Star Wars movies with a couple of friends at work . A few humorous things came up that I'd like to share with yinz .
1) Hows come only Jedis get to come back as glowy blue spirits and talk to people ? Why no Siths ? I think it would be effing hilarious if at the end of Return of the Jedi when Luke looks over and sees Obi Wan , Yoda ,and Anakin if all of a sudden the ghost of the Emperor appeared behind Annakin and gave him a " FORCE WEDGIE " , called him a punk-ass and then disappeared again . Or for that matter if Darth Maul's spectre appeared in Star Wars and spilled the beans about Luke's daddy being Darth Vader and how Luke shouldn't train with Obi Wan 'cause he's the suckiest Jedi master ever since he failed to train Annakin properly and then when he tried to fix his mistake he left him alive and pissed off so he could come back and wreck havock across the galaxy for twenty more years . Then he'd just start talking trash like Mr. T in Rocky 3 " Yo , Kenobi!!!! You KNOW you sucker slashed me back on Naboo!!!! You ain't no Jedi master , you just a chump!!!! That's right , fool . Soon as you die , I'm gonna lay some dark side ass kickin' down on you !!!! Come on Kenobi , stop duckin' me!!!! " .
[2] Another thing was when Padme is giving birth to the twins at the end of ROTS she just blurts out "Luke" and "Leia" . It would have been FAR more entertaining if she said , like , " Herb" and " Ethel" or something first , then changed her mind . Or even better if she said those names and died , Obi Wan and Yoda look at each other and go " NO FREAKIN' WAY . I refuse to have the savior of the galaxy be called HERB Skywalker . How bout....uhhhh....Luke???? YEAH . LUKE SKYWALKER . . That's got a nice ring to it . To hell with Padme's dying wishes , we're going with Luke . "
[3] FINALLY..why in the name of all that is good and decent didn't Yoda or Obi Wan intervene and tell Luke that Leia was his sister BEFORE he wound up sucking face with her ????? Christ , that's STILL gotta' be traumatic for the poor kids . You find out that the evil Sith Lord that's trying to crush you and destroy your friends is your dad , that's rough . You find out that the girl you've been having X-rated fantasies about is your sister.....that's not something you can EVER get over . Obi Wan's ghost was probably watching and talking to Yoda at the same time . " WHOA . Dude , he's gonna French his sister!!!! " Yoda's like " NO!!!! Stop them you must!!!! Fuck him up for life this will!!!! " Obi Wan just snickers and says " Oh come on . It'll be FUNNY when we tell him . " Yoda just kinda' frowns and grumbles " Hmmmmph...One psychotic Skywalker not enough for you is ???? If evil this one turns , lose your Jedi membership card you will . " [ It has been mentioned that LEIA kissed Luke . True , but Obi Wan knew that Leia was Luke's sister...and SHE had the force too . Obi Wan's just a pervert . ]
Okay . I'm done . Back to your regularly scheduled programs .
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
vrulovwrath:
Thanks man.
kiki:
All final fantasys and Corona