***THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FROM YOUR GOOD BUDDY TINFOILHALO***
As I'm sure that you're probably aware of by now , the greatest threat to the people of Earth is no longer nuclear annhilation . It's not an apocalyptic meteor which would decimate every living thing on the planet . It's not even some deadly plague that would sweep across the world and leave nothing in its wake . The greatest threat to all of humanity is , of course , zombies . That's right , horrible flesh eating zombies . They're EVERYWHERE . You could be walking down the block to get some tasty salted snack treats at your local convenience store when...BAM!!!!...zombie out of nowhere , and you're missing a few chunks of your favorite body . THEN if zombies aren't bad enough , on your way to the hospital to get yourself fixed up after your zombie munching incident , you get jumped by a friggin' vampire . NO . Not the suave sexy Victorian dressed Anne Rice vampires either . The monstrous undead suck you dry of every ounce of blood kind .
This is a common scenario , and has probably even happened to you a few times . I'm sure that I don't have to tell you how a random zombie or vampire attack can really ruin your day . So what are every day citizens like you and I to do in this monster infested day and age???? Well , after doing a little research , I've found somebody who can help . Go here
for some helpful information such as what you should do if you pick up a radio announcement that clearly indicates a zombie outbreak nearby , or how to best defend yourself if your attacked by a vampire . You know , things you NEED to know . So , for your own good , check out this website . It's not like you can just call Orkin exterminators and tell them you've got zombies . It's up to YOU .
Now I've got to go to Home Depot and buy me a bunch of boards for my windows and a good old fashioned chainsaw . NOTHING makes zombie stompin' more fun than a chainsaw . Plus , it also works pretty well for getting rid of Jehova's Witnesses . Good luck to you all .
As I'm sure that you're probably aware of by now , the greatest threat to the people of Earth is no longer nuclear annhilation . It's not an apocalyptic meteor which would decimate every living thing on the planet . It's not even some deadly plague that would sweep across the world and leave nothing in its wake . The greatest threat to all of humanity is , of course , zombies . That's right , horrible flesh eating zombies . They're EVERYWHERE . You could be walking down the block to get some tasty salted snack treats at your local convenience store when...BAM!!!!...zombie out of nowhere , and you're missing a few chunks of your favorite body . THEN if zombies aren't bad enough , on your way to the hospital to get yourself fixed up after your zombie munching incident , you get jumped by a friggin' vampire . NO . Not the suave sexy Victorian dressed Anne Rice vampires either . The monstrous undead suck you dry of every ounce of blood kind .
This is a common scenario , and has probably even happened to you a few times . I'm sure that I don't have to tell you how a random zombie or vampire attack can really ruin your day . So what are every day citizens like you and I to do in this monster infested day and age???? Well , after doing a little research , I've found somebody who can help . Go here
for some helpful information such as what you should do if you pick up a radio announcement that clearly indicates a zombie outbreak nearby , or how to best defend yourself if your attacked by a vampire . You know , things you NEED to know . So , for your own good , check out this website . It's not like you can just call Orkin exterminators and tell them you've got zombies . It's up to YOU .
Now I've got to go to Home Depot and buy me a bunch of boards for my windows and a good old fashioned chainsaw . NOTHING makes zombie stompin' more fun than a chainsaw . Plus , it also works pretty well for getting rid of Jehova's Witnesses . Good luck to you all .
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
tiamat:
you want to know something crazy? since being in low budget zombie movies, playing zombie games and watching zombie movies, everywhere i go i evaluate my surroundings and plan zombie escape routes. despite all my planning i think i would still piss my pants and o.d if zombies were chasing me
blyss:
that was my daughter
that was my daughter