I think I must've smoked about four packs of cigarrettes tonight...and I don't smoke . For my fellow 'Burgh folks , I went to Bar 11 on the South Side . For those of yinz who don't know what I'm talking about , Bar 11 is a tiny little bar that reminds me of having a party in somebodys basement . It's got crappy wood paneling on the walls , a ruined pool table in the back that's only suitable for sitting on , weird blacklights and disco balls on the ceiling , and NO windows . The lack of windows tends to turn the place into a gas chamber of smoke . The air is LITERALLY blue .
"WHY would you go there then " you may ask ? "Because it's a cool place" I would answer . They have GOOD music , reasonably priced drinks , bartenders who recklessly set the bar on fire and blow flames in a place that's just WAY too small for those type of pyrotechnics , Cartoon Network is always playing on the T.V. , goofy-ass decor that includes a naked store mannequin hanging from the ceiling and a giant Jagermeister banner on the wall , and they give you a handful of cheap "Made In Taiwan" toys whenever you get a drink ( I have an extensive collection of bizarre little toys which present a clear and present choking hazard to any children...and some adults , who visit my home
) . So I suffer the blackened lungs of inhaling the smoke of twenty thousand cigarrettes without complaint . The ironic part of that is the fact that the bathroom window is broken out and the only place in the bar you can get a breath of fresh air is the crapper . BRILLIANT .

"WHY would you go there then " you may ask ? "Because it's a cool place" I would answer . They have GOOD music , reasonably priced drinks , bartenders who recklessly set the bar on fire and blow flames in a place that's just WAY too small for those type of pyrotechnics , Cartoon Network is always playing on the T.V. , goofy-ass decor that includes a naked store mannequin hanging from the ceiling and a giant Jagermeister banner on the wall , and they give you a handful of cheap "Made In Taiwan" toys whenever you get a drink ( I have an extensive collection of bizarre little toys which present a clear and present choking hazard to any children...and some adults , who visit my home


well, you better let in bands from the red states, because i need my Lucero to survive, and they're from Tennessee.