HOOOOOOO-RAYYYY!!!!!! It's Columbus Day!!!!!! 
I'll bet you'll NEVER hear somebody actually say THAT . You know , I was thinking about this today . COLUMBUS DAY???? I mean seriously . Columbus is just some goofball Italian guy who had a nutty idea about the world being round and Forrest Gumped his way into "discovering" the new world . Or should I say TOOK CREDIT for discovering the new world . You realize that there's significant evidence that pretty much proves that the Vikings found the new world FIRST . Sure , they probably just got REALLY fucked up on grogg or something and the guy steering the boat got completely lost (or passed out ) and they wound up in America . Imagine their surprise when they sobered up and looked around for the old Viking village and found a bunch of natives wearing buckskin and feathers .
Come to think of it , wouldn't it be a LOT more fun to celebrate VIKING DAY instead of boring old Columbus Day? THAT would kick ass . You could get a bunch of your friends together for a feast and the guys could wear dead animal skins and big-ass horned helmets and get shitfaced on ale that was guzzled out of GIGANTIC mugs while the ladies wore metal bras and chased people with spears while ALSO getting shitfaced off of giant alcoholic brews . Then after everybody got good and wasted , you could all go to the neighboring cities and loot and pillage the shit out it . The whole thing would be COMPLETELY LEGAL too 'cause you were celebrating our country's rich heritage . Yep . I , for one , would like to start a petition to acknowledge those brave barbarians of old and get VIKING DAY put on the calendar for next year . WHO'S WITH ME????
I'll bet you'll NEVER hear somebody actually say THAT . You know , I was thinking about this today . COLUMBUS DAY???? I mean seriously . Columbus is just some goofball Italian guy who had a nutty idea about the world being round and Forrest Gumped his way into "discovering" the new world . Or should I say TOOK CREDIT for discovering the new world . You realize that there's significant evidence that pretty much proves that the Vikings found the new world FIRST . Sure , they probably just got REALLY fucked up on grogg or something and the guy steering the boat got completely lost (or passed out ) and they wound up in America . Imagine their surprise when they sobered up and looked around for the old Viking village and found a bunch of natives wearing buckskin and feathers .
Come to think of it , wouldn't it be a LOT more fun to celebrate VIKING DAY instead of boring old Columbus Day? THAT would kick ass . You could get a bunch of your friends together for a feast and the guys could wear dead animal skins and big-ass horned helmets and get shitfaced on ale that was guzzled out of GIGANTIC mugs while the ladies wore metal bras and chased people with spears while ALSO getting shitfaced off of giant alcoholic brews . Then after everybody got good and wasted , you could all go to the neighboring cities and loot and pillage the shit out it . The whole thing would be COMPLETELY LEGAL too 'cause you were celebrating our country's rich heritage . Yep . I , for one , would like to start a petition to acknowledge those brave barbarians of old and get VIKING DAY put on the calendar for next year . WHO'S WITH ME????
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
our seats were 18 rows back at the 40. hot shit.
i need my jersey for sunday or else i'll die.