Firstly , an announcement . ALTERNATE UNIVERSE WEEK is now officialy over . Thusly my regular universe favorite SG's are back where they belong . I would like to thank my A.U.W. Sg's for joining me last week . You will all be missed . 
With the beginning of the Olympics , I have been struck with a deep sense of patriotism . Despite my distaste for recent events perpetuated by our government , I am and have always been proud to be an American citizen . As such , I would like to start a potentially ongoing series of personal "salutes" to US citizens who have made an impact on the lives of everybody in this country and possibly even everbody in the world . So thus begins the spectacle that is "LEGENDARY AMERICANS"...
The first subject for my personal tribute was an easy choice . This person is an often overlooked , but nonetheless BRILLIANT , military genius . I am talking , of course , of PAT BENATAR . Her magnificent 80's masterpiece "Love Is A Battlefield" was one of the single most insightful and compelling studies of modern war that I have ever had the honor of baring witness to . I will therefore try to sum up her greatness as a military commander in my own humble way .
Although Ms. Benatar was never directly involved in any major military engagements , she KNOWS what war is all about . Most relationships are exactly the same as most military conflicts ( With the possible exception of the liberal use of high powered explosive devices and deadly substances such as napalm ) . Think about it for just a moment if you will . Upon your first date with somebody , it is like a reconaissance mission . You are trying to assess your counterpart's strengths and weaknesses in order to determine whether or not they are worthy opponents and should be engaged in combat . The first time you SERIOUSLY make out with a person is like an opening skirmish in a major offensive . Both parties fighting for ground , attacking and defending , trying to reach their pre-determined goal . Both sides eventually log long and arduous hours in "the trenches" trying desperately to reach the "COMMAND CENTER" which is the genitals . The battle hardened combatants know full well that once that nerve center is reached , they can topple their opponents intelligence network . Sometimes though , do to inaccurate recon and field intelligence , the enemy's defenses turn out to be just too strong for you . Even after several incursions into the command center , your opponent will NOT give in . This usually leads to a crushing defeat . They march away to find a more worthy opponent , leaving you battered and beaten in their wake . Conversely , however , a SINGLE masterful strike on your opponent's command center can sometimes win the war for you . Your opponent is so in awe of your tactical brilliance that they surrender and join forces with you . THIS is a victory . Although you should NEVER underestimate your new ally . If you fail to recognize their contributions to your army , they will no doubt betray you and seek the council of another general . The intelligence that they have gathered on the inside of your forces could be crippling to you . Other military forces will laugh at your inadequate "Attack Unit" and mock you at their strategic council meetings . Then your only recourse is to move to another country where nobody knows of you and begin your march for conquest anew .
You tell me , LOVE is Hell isn't it ? Pat Benatar KNEW this and thusly crafted a song trying to explain it to the rest of the world . THAT is why I salute you Commander Benatar , and pledge my allegiance to you . You are like a female version of General Patton wearing a uniform of leg warmers and torn sweatshirts . It is about time that Americans and the world at large gave you the proper respect that you so richly deserve . You are truly a LEGENDARY AMERICAN .
Cue "America The Beautiful" and snap to attention everybody . We have a true HERO in our midst .
With the beginning of the Olympics , I have been struck with a deep sense of patriotism . Despite my distaste for recent events perpetuated by our government , I am and have always been proud to be an American citizen . As such , I would like to start a potentially ongoing series of personal "salutes" to US citizens who have made an impact on the lives of everybody in this country and possibly even everbody in the world . So thus begins the spectacle that is "LEGENDARY AMERICANS"...
The first subject for my personal tribute was an easy choice . This person is an often overlooked , but nonetheless BRILLIANT , military genius . I am talking , of course , of PAT BENATAR . Her magnificent 80's masterpiece "Love Is A Battlefield" was one of the single most insightful and compelling studies of modern war that I have ever had the honor of baring witness to . I will therefore try to sum up her greatness as a military commander in my own humble way .
Although Ms. Benatar was never directly involved in any major military engagements , she KNOWS what war is all about . Most relationships are exactly the same as most military conflicts ( With the possible exception of the liberal use of high powered explosive devices and deadly substances such as napalm ) . Think about it for just a moment if you will . Upon your first date with somebody , it is like a reconaissance mission . You are trying to assess your counterpart's strengths and weaknesses in order to determine whether or not they are worthy opponents and should be engaged in combat . The first time you SERIOUSLY make out with a person is like an opening skirmish in a major offensive . Both parties fighting for ground , attacking and defending , trying to reach their pre-determined goal . Both sides eventually log long and arduous hours in "the trenches" trying desperately to reach the "COMMAND CENTER" which is the genitals . The battle hardened combatants know full well that once that nerve center is reached , they can topple their opponents intelligence network . Sometimes though , do to inaccurate recon and field intelligence , the enemy's defenses turn out to be just too strong for you . Even after several incursions into the command center , your opponent will NOT give in . This usually leads to a crushing defeat . They march away to find a more worthy opponent , leaving you battered and beaten in their wake . Conversely , however , a SINGLE masterful strike on your opponent's command center can sometimes win the war for you . Your opponent is so in awe of your tactical brilliance that they surrender and join forces with you . THIS is a victory . Although you should NEVER underestimate your new ally . If you fail to recognize their contributions to your army , they will no doubt betray you and seek the council of another general . The intelligence that they have gathered on the inside of your forces could be crippling to you . Other military forces will laugh at your inadequate "Attack Unit" and mock you at their strategic council meetings . Then your only recourse is to move to another country where nobody knows of you and begin your march for conquest anew .
You tell me , LOVE is Hell isn't it ? Pat Benatar KNEW this and thusly crafted a song trying to explain it to the rest of the world . THAT is why I salute you Commander Benatar , and pledge my allegiance to you . You are like a female version of General Patton wearing a uniform of leg warmers and torn sweatshirts . It is about time that Americans and the world at large gave you the proper respect that you so richly deserve . You are truly a LEGENDARY AMERICAN .
Cue "America The Beautiful" and snap to attention everybody . We have a true HERO in our midst .
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Just do it.