So yesterday I wound up working a twelve hour day . It doesn't sound that long , but twelve hours at a place will seriously screw with your mind . At one point I asked the guy I was working with which one he thought would be more fun...working there or getting struck by lightning . Surprisingly there were fairly convincing arguments for both side . No conclusive answer was reached .
This , however , brought up ANOTHER intriguing conversation . We started talking about what the coolest way to die would be . That became a little morbid , although still fairly entertaining . Again , no conclusive answer was reached . THEN we came upon the conversation about once you're dead , what kind of funeral do you want ? This turned the talk from morbid to VERY interesting . I always considered having a Viking funeral , where your body is sent out to sea in a wooden ship with a big honkin' dragon carved on the front and then have flaming arrows shot at said boat to burn the remains into Cajun blackened fish food . When I asked my buddy what his ideal funeral service would be he simply said " I want to be buried with my hand down my pants . " I asked WHY...naturally . He replied " In case being dead is boring , I've already got a way to entertain myself . " Can't argue with logic like that , can you ? I then thought...wouldn't it be cool to be buried in a plot that had like a pressure sensitive trigger that would shoot a decomposing hand up out of the ground when somebody steps on it . Somebody strolls by and BLAM!!!! They then run away screaming something like " AAAAARGH!!!! ZOMBIES!!!! THE DEAD ARE RISING TO EAT OUR BRAINS!!!!! " or whatever . I'd like to think that I was still a smart-ass AFTER I died . I also said that I didn't want some fancy schmancy $5000.00 coffin that will just rot away in the ground . That's kinda' bullshit if you ask me . I just want the groundskeeper to build a big slingshot , put my corpse in it , wind it up and let me fly . Wherever I land just dig a damn hole and chuck me in . Like Clint Eastwood once said "Worms gotta' eat too . " Or even better , pack a bunch of explosives on my stiff and detonate it in mid-air!!!! KA-BOOOOM!!!! Then it would be like the Fourth of July complete with fireworks for the kids . I don't want some boring , sad-ass , weepy , funeral . I want it to be FUN . I , for one , think being launched into the air by a gigantic mechanical device , then blown into a gazillion pieces , would be just about the coolest way to go . The only thing cooler than that would be getting struck by lightning .
I would like to part with this...now that Tupac is dead , is he the Grim Rapper ?
Man , that joke REALLY died . How should we bury it ?
This , however , brought up ANOTHER intriguing conversation . We started talking about what the coolest way to die would be . That became a little morbid , although still fairly entertaining . Again , no conclusive answer was reached . THEN we came upon the conversation about once you're dead , what kind of funeral do you want ? This turned the talk from morbid to VERY interesting . I always considered having a Viking funeral , where your body is sent out to sea in a wooden ship with a big honkin' dragon carved on the front and then have flaming arrows shot at said boat to burn the remains into Cajun blackened fish food . When I asked my buddy what his ideal funeral service would be he simply said " I want to be buried with my hand down my pants . " I asked WHY...naturally . He replied " In case being dead is boring , I've already got a way to entertain myself . " Can't argue with logic like that , can you ? I then thought...wouldn't it be cool to be buried in a plot that had like a pressure sensitive trigger that would shoot a decomposing hand up out of the ground when somebody steps on it . Somebody strolls by and BLAM!!!! They then run away screaming something like " AAAAARGH!!!! ZOMBIES!!!! THE DEAD ARE RISING TO EAT OUR BRAINS!!!!! " or whatever . I'd like to think that I was still a smart-ass AFTER I died . I also said that I didn't want some fancy schmancy $5000.00 coffin that will just rot away in the ground . That's kinda' bullshit if you ask me . I just want the groundskeeper to build a big slingshot , put my corpse in it , wind it up and let me fly . Wherever I land just dig a damn hole and chuck me in . Like Clint Eastwood once said "Worms gotta' eat too . " Or even better , pack a bunch of explosives on my stiff and detonate it in mid-air!!!! KA-BOOOOM!!!! Then it would be like the Fourth of July complete with fireworks for the kids . I don't want some boring , sad-ass , weepy , funeral . I want it to be FUN . I , for one , think being launched into the air by a gigantic mechanical device , then blown into a gazillion pieces , would be just about the coolest way to go . The only thing cooler than that would be getting struck by lightning .
I would like to part with this...now that Tupac is dead , is he the Grim Rapper ?
Man , that joke REALLY died . How should we bury it ?
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
clara:
That sounds fun, but I'm too broke for any summer trips this year. 
clara:
I dunno, I think Vegas might be cheaper in some ways. They want you to drop money on the games so badly all the rest goes for change. Of course, I'm never tempted to gamble, which I understand is not the case for everyone.