Grrrrrrr...so I'm trying to be healthy . My foolish doctor told me that I'm supposed to try to cut WAY back on drinking caffeine and alcohol because my stomach is temporarily out of order . The problem is that I can't fuction without caffeine!!!! My blood is 70% caffeine and 20 percent blood ( There's 10% of a mysterious substance that science hasn't been able to identify yet in there too
) . The alchohol I can cut back on without much problem , as I don't go out and get schnockered very often...at least not lately. But I NEED my go-go juice . However shall I go on without it ?
On a somewhat different note , I decided as long as I was going to be forced into a healthy lifestyle , I might as well go the extra step...and EXERCISE
. I went out and got myself a new bike today . I always liked biking , but never had the time to do it ( What with my non-stop consumption of inhuman ammounts of caffeine and alcohol and the following trips to the hospital for some good old fashioned stomach pumpin'
) . So I shall hit the biking trails in a caffeine deprived rage . And when I hit said trail , it'll be WITHOUT a sissy ass helmet . I will crack my fucking skull open like God intended . This brings up a point .
WHAT??? Sometimes I have them . WHY do they push the use of helmets ? Oh sure , they save the lives of a lot of bikers , but they save the lives of BAD bikers . If you wreck your bike SO horribly that you need a giant plastic skull cover to keep your brains in place , you SHOULDN'T be riding a damn bike!!!! Think back to when you were a kid . If you were anything like me , you did some crazy-ass shit that should have ended in your bloody death millions of times over . Yet , we are still here . And I , for one , did it with NO safety equipment!!!! Threat of severe bodily harm makes you a BETTER and SAFER biker . And if you DO crash ( And survive ) it toughens you up . I crashed HARD so many times , and fucked up my body so badly , that I am now NIGH INVULNERABLE!!!! In fact , the only way I can be harmed is from the inside...hence my stomach trauma .
How can you too have NIGH INVULNERABILITY , you ask ???? Well I'll tell you , pal . Drink massive ammounts of caffeine and alcohol that drastically alter your internal chemical make-up AND build up an immunity to external physical injury by injuring yourself so many times that your goddamn body gets sick of repairing itself and refuses to get busted up any more . THAT is how you do it . Sure it COULD kill you , but isn't NIGH INVULNERABILITY worth the risk ? you bet your sweet ass it is , baby!!!!
TinfoilHalo , over and out...


On a somewhat different note , I decided as long as I was going to be forced into a healthy lifestyle , I might as well go the extra step...and EXERCISE


WHAT??? Sometimes I have them . WHY do they push the use of helmets ? Oh sure , they save the lives of a lot of bikers , but they save the lives of BAD bikers . If you wreck your bike SO horribly that you need a giant plastic skull cover to keep your brains in place , you SHOULDN'T be riding a damn bike!!!! Think back to when you were a kid . If you were anything like me , you did some crazy-ass shit that should have ended in your bloody death millions of times over . Yet , we are still here . And I , for one , did it with NO safety equipment!!!! Threat of severe bodily harm makes you a BETTER and SAFER biker . And if you DO crash ( And survive ) it toughens you up . I crashed HARD so many times , and fucked up my body so badly , that I am now NIGH INVULNERABLE!!!! In fact , the only way I can be harmed is from the inside...hence my stomach trauma .

How can you too have NIGH INVULNERABILITY , you ask ???? Well I'll tell you , pal . Drink massive ammounts of caffeine and alcohol that drastically alter your internal chemical make-up AND build up an immunity to external physical injury by injuring yourself so many times that your goddamn body gets sick of repairing itself and refuses to get busted up any more . THAT is how you do it . Sure it COULD kill you , but isn't NIGH INVULNERABILITY worth the risk ? you bet your sweet ass it is , baby!!!!

TinfoilHalo , over and out...

P.S. Not punished, consoled.
(i read it the marvel encyclopedia)
unless you've gotten really bad rocky orange skin
since last i saw you then your so not nigh invulnerable
...maybe nigh nigh invulnerable
krieder draws the best expressions
i encourage you to look through the entire archive
everything is good (except for the damn waminals
and the graph cartoons)