Any amateur dream therapists out there ? Here's one that absolutely BAFFLES me . 
First of all , I'm gonna' give you the Reader's Digest abridged version or else it will take all night to write it out . So here we go...
It starts out where I wake up in my house that I grew up in ( I haven't lived there for about seven or eight years now ) . I get up and walk out of my bedroom and hear something outside . I go over to the window and my house is surrounded by S.W.A.T. team members and cops!!!!
Apparently I've been accused of being a child killer . Long story short , it's a BIG mistake and I'm found innocent . So I'm all freaked out and I'm like " Screw thgis . I'm going back to bed . I walk into my bedroom and shut the door . When I turn back around I'm in the mountains and I'm actually part of ANOTHER S.W.A.T. team . Naturally I'm a little confused , so I'm looking around and I don't recognize ANYBODY . Another thing that I notice is that everybody has these cool-ass assault rifles and grenades and shit . I'm then like " COOL" and go to check out my weapons . NO gun , NO grenades , NO knife . NOTHING . The other guys are doing their cop thing and I'm yelling "HEY!!! Where's MY stuff???? " The "cheif" screams back "QUIET!!!!" Then he orders some guy to use his blow torch to cut through this big honkin' steel door in the side of this mountain . He does it , and the cheif orders everybody inside . I'm STILL like " I DON'T HAVE A FRIGGIN' WEAPON . HELLO!!!! " . The boss says "We'll get you something inside " . Fine . I follow everybody into this dark tunnel . They turn on the flashlights on their cool guns and stealthily make their way down the tunnel . Somebody taps me on the shoulder and says "Here you go" , and hands me a rock . All of a sudden it's like a video game and there's a glowing box over my head that says " WEAPON : ROCK . " Everybody else has one too that says " MP5 ASSAULT RIFLE " or "TACTICAL SHOTGUN" or something . I stop and yell " WAIT A SECOND!!!! YOU get assault rifles and I gotta' throw a fucking rock at somebody??? That's BULLSHIT!!!!" . Everybody's like "SHHHH!!!!" "QUIET!!!!!" . So I stop , and say "Screw you guys . " They proceed on . I don't even have a damn FLASHLIGHT , so I basically have to follow them . We get to this big cavern with two tunnels and a bunch of those steel doors in the side of them . All of a sudden the cheif gets something on his earpiece . He screams " Blue Team GO!!!!" and a bunch of guys run down one tunnel . Then he yells "Gold Team your with me . Let's GO!!!!" and they haul ass down the other tunnel . I'm standing there( With my ROCK . ) going " What team am I on??? NOBODY told me which goddamn team I was on!!!!" . So I'm looking around wondering which way I should go , when I see that one of the doors in the side of the wall has a blue "RESTROOM" sign over it like in a movie theater or something . I'm like "RESTROOM?????" . Suddenly I hear the toilet flush from inside of the room . Now I'm like "SHIT!!!! There's a terrorist that's going to come out and fill me full of holes . What do I do now????? So I stand by the door with my trusty rock , waiting to bust this fucker in the head when he comes out . I hear footsteps approaching from within . The door opens , and....a little dog on a leash comes out . 
Then a guy in a suit holding the leash comes out . It's CHEVY CHASE!!!! 
So I go " HOLY SHIT . You're Chevy Chase . " He's like " Hi . Nice to meet you . " Now thoroughly confused , I ask " Chevy , what the fuck's going on here????" He starts to answer when his little dog squats down and takes a dump in the middle of the room . I kinda' scrunch up my nose and go " AGGGGH!!! DAMN!!!" . Chevy then flips out and yells " DAMMIT!!! We were just in the restroom !!!! Why didn't you go in there????" He then appologizes to me and leads the dog up the stairs where me and the S.W.A.T. guys came down . NOW gunfire erupts from tunnel one . I'm wondering if I'm supposed to be helping them when gunfire erupts from tunnel two . So which way do I go??? Do I even bother to help when all that I have is a friggin' ROCK???? I'm freaking out . I start to run down tunnel one when I wake up .
WHAT THE FUCK????? I gots me a deranged mind . I have NO clue on THAT one .
I'm kind of afraid to go to sleep tonight for fear of what the hell I'll dream about tonight!!!!
First of all , I'm gonna' give you the Reader's Digest abridged version or else it will take all night to write it out . So here we go...
It starts out where I wake up in my house that I grew up in ( I haven't lived there for about seven or eight years now ) . I get up and walk out of my bedroom and hear something outside . I go over to the window and my house is surrounded by S.W.A.T. team members and cops!!!!
Apparently I've been accused of being a child killer . Long story short , it's a BIG mistake and I'm found innocent . So I'm all freaked out and I'm like " Screw thgis . I'm going back to bed . I walk into my bedroom and shut the door . When I turn back around I'm in the mountains and I'm actually part of ANOTHER S.W.A.T. team . Naturally I'm a little confused , so I'm looking around and I don't recognize ANYBODY . Another thing that I notice is that everybody has these cool-ass assault rifles and grenades and shit . I'm then like " COOL" and go to check out my weapons . NO gun , NO grenades , NO knife . NOTHING . The other guys are doing their cop thing and I'm yelling "HEY!!! Where's MY stuff???? " The "cheif" screams back "QUIET!!!!" Then he orders some guy to use his blow torch to cut through this big honkin' steel door in the side of this mountain . He does it , and the cheif orders everybody inside . I'm STILL like " I DON'T HAVE A FRIGGIN' WEAPON . HELLO!!!! " . The boss says "We'll get you something inside " . Fine . I follow everybody into this dark tunnel . They turn on the flashlights on their cool guns and stealthily make their way down the tunnel . Somebody taps me on the shoulder and says "Here you go" , and hands me a rock . All of a sudden it's like a video game and there's a glowing box over my head that says " WEAPON : ROCK . " Everybody else has one too that says " MP5 ASSAULT RIFLE " or "TACTICAL SHOTGUN" or something . I stop and yell " WAIT A SECOND!!!! YOU get assault rifles and I gotta' throw a fucking rock at somebody??? That's BULLSHIT!!!!" . Everybody's like "SHHHH!!!!" "QUIET!!!!!" . So I stop , and say "Screw you guys . " They proceed on . I don't even have a damn FLASHLIGHT , so I basically have to follow them . We get to this big cavern with two tunnels and a bunch of those steel doors in the side of them . All of a sudden the cheif gets something on his earpiece . He screams " Blue Team GO!!!!" and a bunch of guys run down one tunnel . Then he yells "Gold Team your with me . Let's GO!!!!" and they haul ass down the other tunnel . I'm standing there( With my ROCK . ) going " What team am I on??? NOBODY told me which goddamn team I was on!!!!" . So I'm looking around wondering which way I should go , when I see that one of the doors in the side of the wall has a blue "RESTROOM" sign over it like in a movie theater or something . I'm like "RESTROOM?????" . Suddenly I hear the toilet flush from inside of the room . Now I'm like "SHIT!!!! There's a terrorist that's going to come out and fill me full of holes . What do I do now????? So I stand by the door with my trusty rock , waiting to bust this fucker in the head when he comes out . I hear footsteps approaching from within . The door opens , and....a little dog on a leash comes out . Then a guy in a suit holding the leash comes out . It's CHEVY CHASE!!!! So I go " HOLY SHIT . You're Chevy Chase . " He's like " Hi . Nice to meet you . " Now thoroughly confused , I ask " Chevy , what the fuck's going on here????" He starts to answer when his little dog squats down and takes a dump in the middle of the room . I kinda' scrunch up my nose and go " AGGGGH!!! DAMN!!!" . Chevy then flips out and yells " DAMMIT!!! We were just in the restroom !!!! Why didn't you go in there????" He then appologizes to me and leads the dog up the stairs where me and the S.W.A.T. guys came down . NOW gunfire erupts from tunnel one . I'm wondering if I'm supposed to be helping them when gunfire erupts from tunnel two . So which way do I go??? Do I even bother to help when all that I have is a friggin' ROCK???? I'm freaking out . I start to run down tunnel one when I wake up .
WHAT THE FUCK????? I gots me a deranged mind . I have NO clue on THAT one .
I'm kind of afraid to go to sleep tonight for fear of what the hell I'll dream about tonight!!!!
Tanguay's out too with a sprained knee. it's really pissing me off.