I'm thinking about getting into politics. No, not running for any sort of political office. I'm an asshole, but not THAT big of an asshole. 
I am going to put out some products for politicians and politically minded people.
The first one is for the Republicans. They're tasty breakfast pastries that are much like Pop-Tarts, but laced with Valium so that these tightly wound jerk-offs can lighten up a little. They're called "ReTarts (tm.)" . "Hey G.W. , what made you finally decide to let somebody with a brain figure out a feasible exit strategy for the war in Iraq?" "Oh well, I...uh...I'm ReTarted, man. I just feel like eating a nice bag of Doritos and hanging out and playing Warcraft instead of letting real people get killed." ReTarts, I think that they'll fit right in with morons like that.
The next product is for the Dems. It's called "DemoCrack (tm.)" . It's an organic natural supplement that can be put into your goddamn dirty hippy trail mix or whatever the hell it is that you tree huggin' jackholes eat. It boosts adrenaline and jacks up your hormone levels so that you're not so mellow and non-confrontational all the time. You can consider it "Balls in a bottle" . When you just don't have the balls to do what needs to be done, grab some DemoCrack.
What affiliation am I, you may ask? I told myself waaaay back when I first came of legal voting age that I would vote whenever I felt that there was a candidate that TRULY deserved to be the leader of America and showed the qualities that illustrate why the US is the greatest country in the world as of my personal opinion. As such, I have never officially voted. Yeah, go ahead and point your fingers and say that it's that kind of mentality that is undermining the American political system and ruining the country. Hey, maybe it might be something that BOTH sides can finally agree on.
I am going to put out some products for politicians and politically minded people.
The first one is for the Republicans. They're tasty breakfast pastries that are much like Pop-Tarts, but laced with Valium so that these tightly wound jerk-offs can lighten up a little. They're called "ReTarts (tm.)" . "Hey G.W. , what made you finally decide to let somebody with a brain figure out a feasible exit strategy for the war in Iraq?" "Oh well, I...uh...I'm ReTarted, man. I just feel like eating a nice bag of Doritos and hanging out and playing Warcraft instead of letting real people get killed." ReTarts, I think that they'll fit right in with morons like that.
The next product is for the Dems. It's called "DemoCrack (tm.)" . It's an organic natural supplement that can be put into your goddamn dirty hippy trail mix or whatever the hell it is that you tree huggin' jackholes eat. It boosts adrenaline and jacks up your hormone levels so that you're not so mellow and non-confrontational all the time. You can consider it "Balls in a bottle" . When you just don't have the balls to do what needs to be done, grab some DemoCrack.
What affiliation am I, you may ask? I told myself waaaay back when I first came of legal voting age that I would vote whenever I felt that there was a candidate that TRULY deserved to be the leader of America and showed the qualities that illustrate why the US is the greatest country in the world as of my personal opinion. As such, I have never officially voted. Yeah, go ahead and point your fingers and say that it's that kind of mentality that is undermining the American political system and ruining the country. Hey, maybe it might be something that BOTH sides can finally agree on.
sixothree:
i'm voting for the whig party 