Despite the fact that I am personally "Grinching" Christmas this year , I understand that many of you actually enjoy this particular holiday . So to all of you I wish you a Merry Christmas . I hope that you all get many good things and catch a wicked eggnog buzz . Enjoy . 
I went back home last night for our annual Festivus party at my buddy's house . It never fails to entertain . There were many beers drank , and many an inappropriate comment uttered . A few that I can remember before the evening got a little hazy are...
My friend was showing us pictures of his trip to Alaska . My other friend asked him if he saw any cute "Ho's " while up there . I replied " I think they only have Eskimos up there . " Then , as if it were planned , my friend and I look at each other and say ":Eski-ho's " . Much hilarity ensued .
My married friend and his wife brought their newborn son to the party to show him off . I first of all have to say that this was , by far , the best behaved infant that I have EVER seen . He pretty much slept the whole time despite our loud and obnoxious behavior . When I asked them if he was always that good , my other friend's wife said "No . She's been drinking vodka tonight so when she breast feeds him he's getting White Russians . He isn't sleeping , he's drunk off his little ass . "
Somebody noticed that my buddy had a refrigerator magnet with Jesus on it . Not unheard of , except that Jesus was grinning from ear to ear . My buddy says " Wow . I've never seen Jesus looking so happy " . Somebody else then replies "Yeah , because he's usually nailed to a cross . That would take the smile off of anybody's face . "
I threatened to punch my friend Ted "right in the ovaries" for no good reason .
The afore mentioned Ted has a HUGE Siberian Huskie named Nanook , who is usually referred to as "Nookie" . You can imagine the jokes that are spawned from that little nickname . One of the standouts was when Ted said , after making Nanook howl " Yeah , I know how to make the Nookie howl " My friend says "That's not what your girlfriend says " . Then good natured fisticuffs broke out which ended in a vicious ten person peanut pelting duel . Many lives were lost .
Then things started to get a little blurry . As I said , it never fails to entertain .
Happy Festivus to all of my non-Christmas or Hannukah or Kwaanza celebrating pals . May your grievances be many and your feats of strength be impressive .
P.S. It's kinda' hard to see , but the new profile pic is Santa and the reindeer getting sucked into a jet turbine . Ho , Ho , Ho!!!!
I went back home last night for our annual Festivus party at my buddy's house . It never fails to entertain . There were many beers drank , and many an inappropriate comment uttered . A few that I can remember before the evening got a little hazy are...
My friend was showing us pictures of his trip to Alaska . My other friend asked him if he saw any cute "Ho's " while up there . I replied " I think they only have Eskimos up there . " Then , as if it were planned , my friend and I look at each other and say ":Eski-ho's " . Much hilarity ensued .
My married friend and his wife brought their newborn son to the party to show him off . I first of all have to say that this was , by far , the best behaved infant that I have EVER seen . He pretty much slept the whole time despite our loud and obnoxious behavior . When I asked them if he was always that good , my other friend's wife said "No . She's been drinking vodka tonight so when she breast feeds him he's getting White Russians . He isn't sleeping , he's drunk off his little ass . "
Somebody noticed that my buddy had a refrigerator magnet with Jesus on it . Not unheard of , except that Jesus was grinning from ear to ear . My buddy says " Wow . I've never seen Jesus looking so happy " . Somebody else then replies "Yeah , because he's usually nailed to a cross . That would take the smile off of anybody's face . "
I threatened to punch my friend Ted "right in the ovaries" for no good reason .
The afore mentioned Ted has a HUGE Siberian Huskie named Nanook , who is usually referred to as "Nookie" . You can imagine the jokes that are spawned from that little nickname . One of the standouts was when Ted said , after making Nanook howl " Yeah , I know how to make the Nookie howl " My friend says "That's not what your girlfriend says " . Then good natured fisticuffs broke out which ended in a vicious ten person peanut pelting duel . Many lives were lost .
Then things started to get a little blurry . As I said , it never fails to entertain .
Happy Festivus to all of my non-Christmas or Hannukah or Kwaanza celebrating pals . May your grievances be many and your feats of strength be impressive .
P.S. It's kinda' hard to see , but the new profile pic is Santa and the reindeer getting sucked into a jet turbine . Ho , Ho , Ho!!!!
I hate christmas. Their lame. Lets destroy christmas