I had to delete the first part of this rant and all traces of its existence 'cause it irritated me every time I looked at it . Please to continue onward good people...
On a lighter note , I have had TWO run-ins with either incredibly BALLSY , or possibly just deeply troubled and suicidal animals over the last two nights . Last night I was coming home from work and this deer is just standing in the middle of the road . I move to within ten feet of it and had to stop because he wasn't moving . I'm like " Uhhhm...are you gonna get out of the road ? " So I honk my horn , and he just casually strolls off the road . Same thing happened with a little kitty cat tonight . Just sat there all uncaring about the multiple ton metal killing machine about to crush him into a cute little stain on the road . I just know that these animals' friends are hiding off in the distance going " DUDE!!!! Look at Joey . He's TOTALLY not moving for that car . AWSOME!!!! Joey's the fucking MAN!!!!" YEAH , JOE!!!!! You rock dude!!!! " That deer and kitty cat are TOTALLY getting laid right now . You KNOW that stuff likethat has to be impressive to other animals . It's kind of setting a bad example for slower and dumber animals though . How many dorky raccoons and groundhogs will get squashed now in a futile attempt to impress the "Jocks" of the animal world like deer and foxes and stuff ? they're the equivalent of the fat or nerdy kids that the cool kids would let hang out with them in high school just because they could make them eat gross stuff for their amusement . Those poor awkward little woodland creatures . They'd wear pocket protectors if they had pockets in their fur...or had any need for pens . I'll bet if you look really closely at the "glasses" like markings on raccoons they are taped in the middle too . I once saw a bear give a opossum a wedgie . It was tragic . Well , that's actually not true , but you could imagine how funny that would be...if you aren't a opossum . It ain't like Disneyland out there people . Animals are pricks too . They just cut those scenes out of the National Geographic Explorers and Wild Kingdoms of the world . You know what else ? I'll bet monkeys are the biggest pricks of the entire animal kingdom . You can just look at them and KNOW that they're plotting something . Little bastards and their poo flinging and cruel monkey taunts . Wait...what the hell was I talking about again ? Ahhh...never mind .
On a lighter note , I have had TWO run-ins with either incredibly BALLSY , or possibly just deeply troubled and suicidal animals over the last two nights . Last night I was coming home from work and this deer is just standing in the middle of the road . I move to within ten feet of it and had to stop because he wasn't moving . I'm like " Uhhhm...are you gonna get out of the road ? " So I honk my horn , and he just casually strolls off the road . Same thing happened with a little kitty cat tonight . Just sat there all uncaring about the multiple ton metal killing machine about to crush him into a cute little stain on the road . I just know that these animals' friends are hiding off in the distance going " DUDE!!!! Look at Joey . He's TOTALLY not moving for that car . AWSOME!!!! Joey's the fucking MAN!!!!" YEAH , JOE!!!!! You rock dude!!!! " That deer and kitty cat are TOTALLY getting laid right now . You KNOW that stuff likethat has to be impressive to other animals . It's kind of setting a bad example for slower and dumber animals though . How many dorky raccoons and groundhogs will get squashed now in a futile attempt to impress the "Jocks" of the animal world like deer and foxes and stuff ? they're the equivalent of the fat or nerdy kids that the cool kids would let hang out with them in high school just because they could make them eat gross stuff for their amusement . Those poor awkward little woodland creatures . They'd wear pocket protectors if they had pockets in their fur...or had any need for pens . I'll bet if you look really closely at the "glasses" like markings on raccoons they are taped in the middle too . I once saw a bear give a opossum a wedgie . It was tragic . Well , that's actually not true , but you could imagine how funny that would be...if you aren't a opossum . It ain't like Disneyland out there people . Animals are pricks too . They just cut those scenes out of the National Geographic Explorers and Wild Kingdoms of the world . You know what else ? I'll bet monkeys are the biggest pricks of the entire animal kingdom . You can just look at them and KNOW that they're plotting something . Little bastards and their poo flinging and cruel monkey taunts . Wait...what the hell was I talking about again ? Ahhh...never mind .
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
vrulovwrath:
Hay dude what is going to hapen with the "world domination groop" we were talking about?
norritt:
those animals had a death wish