tindra

Me: Ahhharrrg!

Friend: What happened now?

Me: I just stabbed myself in the lip with my poppy.

Friend: How the fuck did you manage that?

Me: I didn't have enough hands. I was holding the poppy, my coffee and I needed to put my wallet back into my purse. So I stuck the poppy in my mouth.

Friend: Did it ever occur to you to put your coffee down or ask me to hold it.

Me: No.

Friend: You're a fuckin' retard!