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PURE GONZO JOURNALISM PART 4

So. If you have been merely living in 3 dimensions, or even worse: 2, its time to wake the Fuck up! (Ssh! The Fuck is sleeping!) Im not talking about taking the blue pill; for most of my years I remained completely drug-free. These things are only movie tickets, that is all. If LSD, psilocybin & MDMA were valid tools for expanding consciousness, then by 1972 the country would have had dream teams of brilliant and innovative thinkers solving every problem from cancer to ring-around-the-collar. San Fransisco wouldve been elected the new capital and Leary would be Pope. Its edu-tainment at best; theres no crime in giving yourself over to pleasure. Well okay, so it is. Moving on

BUY THE TICKET, TAKE THE RIDE.

I scanned all 208 pages of Fear & Loathing twice to find the exact quote and page number to open with, but all I have is the Depp-masters cigarette-burdened voice saying it over and over. That and We cant stop HERE. This is BAT country! (page 18) Ha ha.

Now, come back to now.

About 10 minutes after swallowing the Christmas tree the bulbs began to twinkle. I could feel the glow in my already perma-grinned I-CANT-BELIEVE-ITS-HERE!!! face. At the 15 minutes point I was suggesting to the waitresses that this flight needs a musical! (Any time I am confined with a large group of strangers, the overwhelming urge to incite song and dance is almost insurmountable.) They laugh and move on to a less clinically insane patron. Honey, if you dont get my jokes, you cant play with my toys

Searching my bag, I find my cell phone, which tells me that its 7:25pm. I am here, now, and as you read or hear this, you are here, now, with me. Scoot over, will ya? You want my peanuts? Were on the 2nd leg of the flight: from Chicago to Kansas City. The two men previously within my gums reach have gone. I was glad to affect them. Now I have a new man, likewise L.A. bound. (I high-fived him, in case hes a N-A-R-C.)

(Gone . . . . . . . . . . . . . . BACK!)

I just had a long conversation with my Tyler Durden-to-be. How many times have we heard this? Ive always wanted to go to Burning Man & Im thinking of going this year. Well! (Ha ha! As I was about to write Open the trap door the tray table between us popped open! Ha ha! I love this fate!) Open the trap door and push me in! So, in a scene slightly less menacing than Thompson talking to the hitchhiker, I blabbered his ear off about realities he had only seen shadowy glimpses of, but now dared to believe. I used stories, quotes, descriptive analogies, journal entries & wild hand gestures in order to inject the bare traces of the proper pigments into his dreams.

All the pictures you can see; all the stories you can ever read; all the websites you can ever visit cannot properly contain or convey what Burning Man is. It is an experience which must be experienced. (HA HA HA!!! As I wrote that last word, a large Ned Flanders of a guy standing in the aisle was talking in his cell phone [were in K.C. now]. What word bounces off his shiny silver Nokia mobile mouth box & ricochets directly into my vulnerable but willing earhole?

E X P E R I E N C E !

Right as I was writing it! Do these synchronicities occur unnoticed around us all the time and were too busy to see them? Or are they like beautiful little flowering oddities which spring up from the lawn of consciousness when the weather conditions are right?) Anyway, that last quote was from Daniel Browning Smith: contortionist extraordinaire, world record holder, a.k.a. RubberBoy; a true international man of mystery, who was the first one to ever tell me about Burning man back in nineteen hundred and ninety nine.

Lets go there


(more later)


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