timore

It's strange how things work out. One day you're raising two parents and the next only one. His heart decided to stop beating sometime during the night on Thursday. He seemed peaceful. My lips hadn't touched his since I was a child and we would give little kisses. This time I was trying so hard to breathe life back into his body. It didn't work. He laid there and I held my Mom telling her somehow things would be okay. Still, I don't know. I told my sisters and brother he died, it was so hard. Everything is so hard. It just doesn't seem real. I can't imagine getting married without him holding my hand. I can't imagine my children growing up never knowing how funny and smart their Grandfather was. He looked so cute Wednesday wearing the big green cargos and white long sleeve shirt I bought him for fathers day. He was always the coolest Dad. Sometimes my friends were content hanging out with him. I would give anything to hear him say something that would make me uncomfortable right now. Anything to hear him snore. I made him baked Spaghetti Wednesday. He was happy. I decided yesterday to not cry anymore. There were so many things about him that made me smile. Right now though, it just hurts so much. Please, if your Dad is still alive, hug him for me. I won't get to ever hug my Dad again. You just never think about not getting another day. I love you Dad, always.